ChrissieB: News

25 things

2009-02-17T17:19:00.002Z

Everyone is doing the 25 things thang, so I thought I'd join in. 25 things about me. If you are tagged, you are supposed to write 25 things about you. Simple!

1. I am a dreamer, my dreams have changed recently though. I don't want to rule the world, I just want a nice house to grow old(er) in and a nice garden to grow vegetables in.

2. I am completely head over heals in love with my husband, it just took me a while to realise it. He gives everything in my life meaning. Even washing up is bearable if he is in the kitchen. I smile when I hear his key in the door. I love him bringing the guardian crossword home for me to have a go at, even though that is terribly married/ grown up/middle class. I love my life with him, because of him... and I don't care what people's reactions are to this soppiness!!

3. This is my life's to do list in no particular order:
Dive somewhere beautiful
make a pot
play ice hockey
learn to rollerskate
go gliding
fly solo
have acrobatics flight
go to peru
go to India
learn spanish
keep chickens
get dreadlocks
do a triathalon
be a mum
knit something useful
understand basic electronics
service a nice watch for Andy
London to brighton
learn an instrument
get somewhere with the museum

4. Writing is my love. If I could do any job in the world, it would be to write comedy full time. Or fighter pilot. Or ice hockey player. No, red bull air race pilot... no underwater photographer. Definately underwater photograper.

5. My sitcom The Museum is being performed on stage in the Leicester Square theatre in a few weeks. I'm super excited.

6. Sometimes I think I'm brilliant at my job and I get really annoyed at my pay, and think I'll pack it in and go and get a much better job at an oil company. Other times, I want to curl under my desk and hide there until the last person goes, all the lights go off and I am safe and alone.

7. I have ME/CFS. This means I get tired easily and I can't exercise because it can make me really ill for weeks. Most of the time my head feels like it's full of cotton wool and my sinuses and muscles ache. Imagine how you feel when you are getting flu but it hasn't quite developed. That's me most of the time. It also affects my sleep patterns, my concentraion, my tolerence to alcohol & caffine and my moods. It's a very hard thing to live with, which is why I get SUPER PISSED OFF when people think it's made up, or that I just need to pull myself together.

8. I once ran the Snowdonia marathon. It took me over 5 hours, but I loved it. I've also ran the great north run, the Georgetown to Idaho Springs half and various other shorter races. I don't run at the moment because of the ME. Which is a shame because the adrenaline rush I get from exercise and crossing the finish line is an amazing feeling. I miss it :(.

9. I only learned how to cycle last year, and promptly became a bike geek. I'm going to learn to swim properly then do a beginners' triathalon up in Scotland. Hopefully in 2012 to coincide with olympic year! It's very hard for me to train though, obviously..

10. I find the taste of rocket and corriander to be extremly exciting.

11. I am rubbish at keeping in touch with friends, partly because I find telephones terrifying.

12. I love margaritas and tex-mex food. I'd really like to go to Houston for 6 months and get fat on quesadilla and jose cuervo. Then I'd go to our Denver office and get thin on fresh air and good views. Then I'd go to our Trinidad office and get a tan, and head back to Egham brown and thin :).

13. One of my favorite things is laughing until my face hurts and my tear ducts keep squeezing. Something that did this to me was when I mixed Zombie Nation by Kerncraft with the Monty Python Spam sketch. I can't really explain why.

14. My hobbies include yoga, cycling, running, knitting, pocket watch repair, claymation, poi spinning, reading... well, pretty much everything ever invented. I'd rather be a jack of all trades.

15. I wish I could speak a second language. One doesn't seem like enough.

16. I wish I could play an instrument. Properly. Banging out smoke on the water doesn't really count.

17. I am mentally a child, but I'm happy with that. I love the thrill of discovering new things, and hope I always feel like that.

18. I didn't go the pub for months when I lived in Southampton because the thought of walking into a room full of people terrified me.

19. I miss my life in Wyoming. I miss working short days, writing lots, and spending weekends camping and skiing and diving. I'm sad that paying the bills involves spending all your energy pushing a mouse around. I hate being a grown up. But I'm grown up enough to accept that if I want to have a house and food it's something I have to do.

20. I don't like it when I moan. I'm trying to be more the sort of person who deals with things or shuts up about them.

21. I still have a phobia of plant roots.

22. I was once sick from drinking and dropped my wallet in it. Kate tells everyone she meets this story, which ensures that even if I was president of the UN or the next noel fileding or queen of england, I'd still be the girl who dropped her wallet in sick.

23. I think a life without music would be hell.

24. My husband thinks I'm a hippy. I'm not. Poi+joss sticks != hippy.

25. I am utterly, utterly useless at maths, physics and hard thinking in general. Can I have a job please, mr oil company exec?

yay!!

2008-09-13T09:40:00.001+01:00

I got in!!!!

The Sitcom Trials

2008-09-05T13:00:00.002+01:00

The 16 winners have been chosen and informed... which means I can't be one of them. I'm absolutely gutted. With feedback like this:

Loved it. Thank you.

and this

Re: The Museum.

I really love your dialogue, I think it's original and inventive. I feel though that you're shooting yourself in the foot by limiting yourself to only 2 performers and was aching for you to bring some more characters onstage. You create wonderful characters; let's see 5 or 6 of them onstage at the same time. The more characters, the more scope for conflict, surely? And the more conflict, the more comedy.

Please don't be offended by this, I'm writing it because what you've given us so far made me laugh out loud (and ploughing through 300 scripts that's been a rare, rare thing). I just think you've got more in you. TV sitcoms tend to have a core of 5 or 6 recurring characters. Let's see yours all at once.

Simon
for
Every 1's a Critic

I don't think it was unreasonable of me to think I had a really good chance. I know my stuff is good, I know I can get somewhere with it... but not this way. I'm going to have a rewrite and enter some more things... but first I need to give myself time to feel gutted and shocked. Well, actually I only have about 10 more mins to do that because I have to go back to work. I feel like sitting in the rain and crying. I know I'm taking this way harder than I should be, but I am just bitterly dissapointed. Maybe after looking at houses and cycling and shopping and all the million and one things I have to do this weekend I can get back on the horse and get writing again.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

2008-08-28T21:12:00.000+01:00

is fucking shit. That's all I have to say about it really.

waiting, waiting, waiting...

2008-08-12T11:07:00.002+01:00

..until the producer has time to get back to me... until any of my friends have time to give me feedback... until Friday when it's the deadline and I'll finally know if I've got in. I hate waiting. I also hate disappointment, I really thought Bex and I had a chance with the last comp we entered, but we didn't get anywhere. I feel a lot more strongly about this one, partly because of the producer's feedback, but also because I have such a huge emotional involvement in The Museum. I've started talking about it as though it's a real place and the characters are real people.

It's hard with this, or any of my other comic ventures, to get feedback from friends. People are too busy with the real world to spend time in my fantasy one. It does make me sad though. But then people like my husband or my dad take the time to get involved and show they understand how much this means to me, and that really helps.

I might get in, I might not. I'll be crushed if I don't... but maybe that will give me the impetus to try and get my scripts out there to production companies myself. It's not over yet, it's hardly even begun.

Almost a year..

2008-08-10T10:38:00.006+01:00

Hello!

Well it's been almost a year since I posted, but that doesn't mean that nothing has been happening..

Some of the things I learned since my last post: how to fly (a bit), how to ride a bike, how to spin poi badly, that geophysics is ok really, that being a grown up is hard, that friends are worth the effort, how to be happily married, how to make kartofflegratin, how to be nice to people and accet that they aren't like me, how to stay relaxed, how to cope with illness, how to do downward facing dog and most importantly how to go with the flow.

I am now living in Egham in a real house. It has walls and everything. The job is going ok, I've learned a lot, although apparently my lack of passion lets me down....

...so onto something I am passionate about. Comedy:

The Museum. I think I have a good chance of getting a place in this competition. I just have to make something good brilliant. In 6 days. It's very, very hard to write a good 15 min script. You have to develop characters people actually care about, set up some conflict and resolve it... and make it funny. It's a big ask. But I'm so excited about the prospect. I'm trying not to get my hopes up but I'm going to be crushed if I don't get in.
Sometimes I don't think about The Museum for a few weeks, then I'll hear Rocket Man and start grinning like an idiot. I love my Rocket Man ending!

The Deviant Attack. This is a sketch project I've been working on with Bex Moran, after she contacted me through chortle. We have some good stuff, and you can eve get us in the iStore... swish! Have a look here.

Can't hang around... I've got a script to edit. Must put the kettle on...

father time, put down your scythe.

2007-10-06T20:59:00.001+01:00

On the way home from egham I chose to voluntarily listen to the bbc orchestra playing a medley of gilbert o'sullivan hits rather than the essential session on radio one because the mindless dance music was boring the shit out of me. I even found myself singing along.

ffs, what happened to me? :P

I'm happy though. My brief comedy experience has given me massive highs and lows, from being crushed with embarassement and crying to singing to the traffic and shouting yes. Adrenalin, after glow, fear and doubt. Massive highs and lows. That's what comedy is all about, fuck it.. that's what LIFE is about. When you feel joy and pain to that extent you really know you are alive.

You have to keep pushing yourself and challenging yourself and doing things that are a little scary. I hope I have a lifetime of new experiences and joy ahead of me, stuff to share with my hubby, but if I died tomorrow I'd have no regrets, I'd just be pissed off... I've done some cool stuff :).

I'm off to Houston to learn about wiggles. And to see my hubby, dive in a tank full of sharks, fly a plane, watch an ice hockey match, drive on the wrong side of the road, see some old friends, visit new orleans, make some new friends, eat steak and drink a few beers. After living out of a suitcase in a tent smaller than my unfeasibly small car I think it will be a blast.

duck...

2007-08-30T23:38:00.000+01:00

...real life is fast approaching and it's going to hurt. I have to go to bed, I'm exhausted, but 'blog' is on my to-do list and it must be obeyed.

I start my new job on monday, so that's me with a desk, computer, blouse that makes me look like a square slab of womaliness and a slightly glazed expression. Well, I have to work. How else am I going to pay 40 quid a night for a b&b. 40 quid!!! In Staines of all places, a place whose name makes everyone shudder in disgust. Actually, I've packed the tent. I might camp for a week or two and save myself a few hundred quid.

I miss Andy. It's a little depressing to get married and then have no idea when you will next see your other half, but I suppose some would argue it's a recipe for a happy marriage.

I did my first stand up gig. Five mins of stomach scraping horror. I think it actually went reasonably well. Oh if only someone would pay me to do it... I might internally hemorrhage, but I'd be happy.

Sorry, this is coming out really dull. I'm off to sleep on the futon with the cat hairs for the last time in the foreseeable future :(

nighty night x

what no Elvis?

2007-08-13T03:12:00.000+01:00

I have very little time, and I have a scab of orange bean juice on my foot.

There were no Elvises in Vegas. Not a single bloody one. It spoiled my hastily devised and ludicrously complicated Elvis spotting game somewhat. There was a happy wife and nice husband who made her dream to fly in a helicopter come true though. To the grand canyon, get in :).

We had a great time, despite andy loosing his very expensive sunglasses, throwing his camera off a rollercoaster and then loosing his keys, nesscesating a hire car and tedious denver-laramie-denver-laramie road trip.

I have a million things to do, then I'm leaving the US to possibly live husbandless in a tent. It's all a little scary. At least I've finished reading Harry Potter and can get on with the laundry. It was mostly good, if almost identical to the three I've read already in no particular order.

I almost forgot... I was sworn in as a Junior Ranger at Grand Canyon national park. I'm now a scorpion ranger (ages 11 up) so I'll come down on you like a mighty fist brandishing my plastic rangers' badge if you drop litter.

Have to go, the laundry is done and the bean juice is itching my foot. x

did the married thing...

2007-07-28T18:21:00.001+01:00

introducing socklobster

2007-07-02T16:32:00.000+01:00

you'll be seeing a lot more of him. Andy is mostly to blame :)

Andy is a spoilsport. He won't let me set up a production company using any of the following names:

A pair of bullocks
hairy bullocks
the dog's bullocks
etc, etc

Maybe I'll go with the dog's, or socklobster in honour of my new stripy friend.

rory

2007-06-14T19:40:00.000+01:00

I can't believe Rory has been dead 12 years, I can remember the day like it was yesterday. I suppose it must have been a while, since it was just before my GCSEs! My English GCSE to be precise.

I wish he knew how much of an impact he was still having on the world so long after his death.

One day, The Museum will be broadcast, and hopefully a few more people will be aware of his legend because of it. That will be my little tribute to him.

xxC

grr.

2007-06-10T21:12:00.000+01:00

Apparently this is what I look like with my new hair.

cheeeeeeessseeeee!

2007-06-04T19:40:00.001+01:00

mentalists, the lot of 'em.

I am

2007-06-04T18:22:00.000+01:00

I am ecstatic, jumping around to smells like teen spirit,
I am a child with wrinkles and commitments.

I am scared of the future,
I am relishing change.

I am drenched in rain and dried by the sun.

I am a dreamer with a desire to capture those dreams in resin and make them permanent
I am and I am going to Be.

newsiness and nerdiness

2007-05-31T19:11:00.000+01:00

Museum news: ep 5 is currently being written. I have to churn 5 & 6 out before I run out of weird steam. I have painfully balanced my accounts and reckon I can just about stretch to getting the audio interface I want, so it's game on for recording. As always, get in touch if you want to be a voice. You probably don't, does anyone give a shit about this project other than me? Why should you, after all?

Sorry, I'm a little melancholy because of...

Work news: ughhh... roll on September and the new job.

..and apparently I'm a nerd

I disagree, I'm just a vaguely technology-savvy mac-geek, surely?

:)

Long weekend...

2007-05-30T23:12:00.001+01:00

I had a nice weekend, even if I did spend some of saturday confirming that I'm the worst diver in history. I spent a while beached in the shallows splashing pathetically cos I'm not strong enough to stand unaided with all the bloody lead I have to wear. I make sure to keep my reg handy in case I fall face down. Otherwise I'd be like on of those tragic souls that drowns in a bowl of soup.

It was worth the effort, we saw some interesting moss. I think it was red, but Andy swears it was green. Who needs the Carribean?

I had a dress fitting too. My dress looks nice, apart from the lumpy body bits that get extruded from it. It's quite understated, and it looked even more so compared to the bridezilla who was having her fitting next to me. I've never seen such a blingy dress before, it was covered in rhinestones. I think having the sleeves attached to the middle finger like madonna circa 1984 was a nice touch. I'm such a bitch- she was probably looking at my dress thinking 'how plain and boring.'

Monday was the bolderboulder 10k, and I actually enjoyed it this year. I pushed myself hard, but not so hard I wanted to puke from 4k onwards. I was 4 mins slower than last year, but with a 6 month lay off from training I'm more than happy with that. Andy did really well and was 2 mins faster than last year, but I think I enjoyed the entertainments more. There were all sorts of bands and crazy people out there supporting us. There were over 50,000 runners this year, yet the organisation is exceptional- by far the best of any of the mass participation races I've done r watched on the telly.

The course isn't too bad, it's uphill at first. After 3 miles, the course takes a turn downhill as did the quality of the belly dancers. Gone were the nubile young woman and in there place some gyrating grannies. It was eye punishment. Serious.

Good News :)

2007-05-14T21:25:00.000+01:00

I wrote to Donal Gallagher (Rory's brother) about using Rory's track Unmilitary Two-step in The Museum, and he is fine with it.

His email:

Hi Christine

Thank you for your message. Glad you would like to use Rory's 'Unmilitary Two-step", there is no problem to use the track and hopefully it will assist in bringing you talents forward to a wider audience.Your site is quite cool.

Lots of luck.

Dónal

I just made a girly noise, something like 'eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'. I am very pleased.

More good news... 4 episodes are now written. Just two to go! Maybe I'll get this project finished one day. Maybe it'll even end up being broadcast *gasp*!

The plans for standup aren't going so well... I think when I give it a go, people will throw fruit. On the plus side, I'm likely to be very poor so at least I can eat healthily for a few days.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :-)

Jobs n deep thinking n stuff

2007-05-01T22:08:00.000+01:00

GX offered me a job, so I'll officially be a geophysicist come september. You know how it is, us future comic geniuses need to take a day job until we hit the big time. Deluded, me?! Hurrah for my early mid-life crisis :)

My trip to the UK was good, even if it wasn't a trip I made for happy reasons. I saw a lot of friends and family. I also went to Camden and got infected with some wierd disease than made me want to buy clothes and shoes and have a cool haircut. I think I was being brainwashed by hare krishna monks too, I kept inadvertantly giving them money and thus not being able to afford to eat anything other than cadbury's caramels. I also played gay croquet- it was just like normal croquet only bitchier and more brightly coloured.

The writing is going well, it even survived a catastrophic computer faliure. Fate let me reboot the computer one last time and drag off all the stuff I hadn't got around to backing up before it dissolved into a series of epilaptic-goading disco colours.

Sorry about the spelling today, I'm extra dislexic with a side order of dumb pie for some reason. I'll put it down to the wierd dreams I had.

I've been listening to a lot of radio comedy and trying to pull it apart and figure out why it works or doesn't. I was laughing my arse off at The Likely Lads and Dad's Army, but there is a lot of stuff I heard that I'd like to avoid- like obvious set ups (Terry is slagging off Bob's inlaws to a random stranger, who of course turns out to be one of the inlaws) and 'I haven't felt this bad since...' type jokes. What both comedies have taught me is that the characterisation is key to making it work, the setting is secondary (which is a relief since I keep forgetting to make my stuff 'museumy'). Having decent characters who are different and have a unique voice is reactive, like putting baking soda in water. kind of.

I listened to some free stuff on channel4 radio too- the most important lesson I learned there is that repeatedly saying the word tw*t doesn't magically transform something unfunny into a work of genious. Comparing their sketches to something equally wierd yet wonderful, the Boosh, was a revelation. It doesn't matter how wierd something is, if it isn't grounded in plot, character exposition or a complex web of oddness, it just ain't gonna work. This is wot i learnt.

Some pictures from my UK trip

2007-04-26T00:02:00.000+01:00

Blue Hole

2007-04-03T23:43:00.000+01:00

Here are a couple more pictures from our drysuit course... Andy made this rather lovely panorama. Tiny isn't it? Like a little blue puddle crammed with divers.

This is what happens when your sinuses are out to get you. I think Andy's face exploded 3 times in the end. I would be sympathetic, but it didn't hurt him and it was a bit traumatic for me to have my hubby-let swimming towards me with a mask full of gore. Apparently it made everything look green..

More Museum News... and a flat horse?

2007-04-03T18:30:00.000+01:00

Here is an email exchange I had with someone from Radio 4's light entertainment commisioning:

Quoting xxx - Private :

Hi,

I have to be honest and say that not only was there the Museum of
everything but we are also doing a 6 parter from David Nobbs based in a
museum called the Maltby Collection. Having looked at your script it
really doesn't offer enough that's different.
Sorry not to be more encouraging
Best
xxx

and my reply:

Hi Paul,
Thanks for taking the time to read it. I am going to finish my series anyway because I think I have some good ideas, and if nothing else it will be a positive learning experience. I will probably attempt to get it into production in some form elsewhere; I think going through the process is important because I don't imagine many writers who give up at the first setback end up having their work produced. Having said that, I realise there will come a point where I need to move on to other projects if I am not getting anywhere.

Cheers,
Chris

So while this obviously isn't the most positive outcome, I am no where near giving up on this project. I will write what I feel I need to write and finish The Museum. Then the plan is this:

1) Hopefully there will be some kind of reading of my work at the Edinburgh Fringe (more on this later). This will make a few people aware of The Museum, and give me some useful feedback on what works.

2) The BBC might send me some proper feedback some time late spring/ early summer. I'll use this to improve the script and concept.

3) I'll try and get the improved series in production via one of the many indie production agencies. This probably won't go anywhere because most of them pitch to the BBC I think, and the BBC aren't interested, but it is worth trying.

4) If I can't get The Museum professionally produced, I'll do it myself. Probably as a radio series, but there is the possibility of developing it as a stage show also. With a new mac, an audio interface, a lot of patience and some willing bodies I can make a professional sounding job of the recording.

5) If I record it myself, I'll get it 'out there' via my blog, BBC Comedysoup (ironically) and approach local/ indipendant radio stations. They can have it for free if that's what it takes!!

6) After that comes the time to stop hammering the dead horse flat and move on with some dignity... but I will have given it my best shot and we don't really have any right to complain about our dreams not coming true until we get to this stage.

7) Have a new brilliant idea and start again.

I don't know why, but after years of being pretty pessemistic I am finding new ways to be optimistic about this. I just have a good feeling about it and think it is worth the effort. I still have my fingers crossed for a callback for the channel 4 radio competition in a few weeks. The odds are probably almost as low as getting a bbc commission, but I have to believe it can happen. If it does, I will have a contact there. I know no one listens to channel 4 radio, but they will in the future. Maybe.

godammit!

2007-04-02T22:38:00.000+01:00

First hurdle to overcome getting The Museum into production: apparently the biggest radio 4 comedy in years is called The Museum of Everything. Apparently it is nothing like The Museum, but still, the setting might be enough to fire a big smoking hole through my attempts to get produced. I am going to go ahead and write the rest of the series because I have some good ideas and this would be a really stupid reason not to get them down. I'm not giving up...

The same thing happened to me when I was 10 and I wrote a story about a dog that saves a family from being burgled then Nan Lane gave me a comic book with a storyline involving a dog saving a family from a fire and NO ONE believed I hadn't ripped the story off. :'-(

If only there were less people in the world things like this wouldn't happen. I'm proposing a new law were babies get their hands bound tightly at birth so they are unable to operate keyboards and therefor can't type up scripts. And their noses filed down flat so they can't use them either. And maybe they get injected with some sort of laryngococcyl bug to make them really bad at dictation. Things will be so, so different when I am in charge :-D

later.....

I've calmed down now anyway, better go and apologise to all the people I ranted at :)

On a more positive note, one of the baby fish survived. She has entered the difficult teen period now and is tearing around the tank, pulling splinters out of the log and hanging out with unsuitable tetras. One of the snails is achingly cool: I swear on my life, it was surfing around the tank on a piece of elodia leaf. It caught the current from the air filter, did a few loops and then gracefully sank to the bottom. It was the coolest thing I've ever seen in my sad, geeky life.

Today..

2007-03-31T04:58:00.000+01:00

Darren was buried today. Part of me wishes I was there because it might have forced me to accept his death. I'm not going to say a lot, especially since grief is a private matter... except that I miss him. Since I gave up the comfort blanket of faith I've had to face some harsh realities, and some beautiful truths.. but one of the harsh realities for me is that I won't see someone I cared deeply about ever again. I'll cherish my memories.

Goodbye Uncle Buck :-(

ps... unimportant website news in small font: the contact form is now working properly.

Website news

2007-03-27T22:52:00.000+01:00

Thanks to all the people who gave feedback on chrissieB.net.

Some new features: The complete script of episode 1 of The Museum and synopses of the rest of the series are now available through The Museum homepage.

Some of your nice and not so nice messages have been uploaded on the messages page.

And thanks to Alex and Calum for the drunken bug report... I'll get my crack webmastery team on the case right away..

xxC

Being shrink wrapped

2007-03-27T19:29:00.000+01:00

This is me totally wrapped in rubber. I wasn't diving; I just like how it feels against my skin. Mmmm, sticky.

We had fun at Blue Hole, NM, learning how to dive in our new drysuits. It is pretty tough, I spent most of the first dive lying on the bottom pathetically kicking up silt, but by the third dive we were starting to get the hang of it. There isn't much to see there, but there are some goldfish and a kind of grotto effect were previous divers have placed little religious icons and toys on the rocky shelves. I failed to find the legendary spongebob squarepants though, that has to be worth another 1200 mile round trip. My left knee is suffering- I don't recommed taking an old injury, wrapping it in sealed rubber and gradually increasing the pressure until fluid is sucked out of the injury and into the overlying skin. It's all creaky now :(. There was a potentially serious incident while we were there- a diver was at 60 feet, got low on air and instead of staying with his group and dealing with it he shot to the surface and popped out like a cork. Scary stuff, I hope he was ok.

This is Andy at Boca Negra canyon, NM, where native Americans carved petroglyphs into the hard black basalt to honour the sacred mountain. In the 1600, Catholic shepards added their own religious symbols, and today a few people have scratched their names into the rock. It throws up an interesting issue- how old does graffiti have to be before it stops being defacing vandalism and starts being sacred art? What if a native american artist just wasn't very good and did a bird that had a wonky beak? Would that still be art or would it be relegated to vandalism? Or doesn't it matter if it is bad or good as long as it is more than 700 years old or so?

NEW WEBSITE

2007-03-22T04:03:00.000Z

My NEW WEBSITE is now online... but if you clicked through from my homepage you probably knew that already..

chrissieB

It's designed to promote my writing... I figured it was time to try and get somewhere with my more creative pursuits :-).

Any comments on the website, or offers of help to get The Museum produced, drop me a line!

...

2007-03-19T22:25:00.000Z

I was going to use this space to have a full on rant about the people sat next to me at the hockey yesterday who talked insessant inane shit throughout the whole match, particularly the girl whose feet smelt like they could go lovely with a nice chardonay...

But sometimes things happen that make little inconveniences like that seem so unimportant. My family lost someone we loved and that is a damn sight more upsetting than dealing with some biological weapons grade cheesy feet,

baby fish! baby fish!

2007-03-17T17:25:00.000Z

One of the platies had two babies (sorry, fry) yesterday. They are so amazing- how can a little fleshy machine 3 mm long actually swim and see and eat? They are also incredible cute. We didn't know that the fish was pregnant, but it's nice to know that the boy fish got his end away (or whatever fish do) before he expired. They were born on our anniversary too, how romantic! Hopefully they will survive and we can watch them grow, they are bigger than the mouths of the other fish so that is a good start. Andy got some neon tetras yesterday too. We wanted black neons but the fish shop has some disease thing going on and the black neons keep dying. The neons are very pretty, sort of iridescent blue and red, but they do clash a bit with the orange platies, dahling.

We are off to the pool tonight, hopefully A can dive without his sinuses exploding. I want to see if I can deploy my marker buoy from the bottom of the pool and freak out the children.

Quicky

2007-03-16T17:23:00.000Z

So I have recovered from what may have been flu, almost ripping my legs off on a 5 mile ski that was way, way too hard from me, and sliding across the ice on my arse while trying to chase Andy on ice skates. That last one was a lot of fun, actually.

I have been busy writing. My time here is coming to an end (Wyoming, not earth I hope). I could just go and take another soul destroying uni job, but I though I should attempt to get somewhere I want to be first (since apparently if you want to get anywhere in life you have to MAKE it happen).. so I have been busy writing scripts.

I submitted 2 short drama scripts to The Play's the Thing and I am about to send the first episode of The Museum to the BBC, so in about 4 months I should have a rejection from them :(. I genuinely think The Museum is funny, I actually managed to churn out a finished script of sufficient length and I have plenty of ideas for the rest of the series. I'm so rarely confident in my own abilities, but I think if Radio 4 don't want to produce The Museum they are all clearly insane, and I may have to come at them like a laser, like a beam (Sorry, that was for Jacqui).

I am working on a website to promote my writing, I'll try and get it up and running soon and post the link here.

On an unrelated note, Andy and I have been engaged a year today. Tempis Fugis or summat. I ordered him a present but I waited until yesterday so I think the chances of it arriving on time are slim. I won't say what it is incase he reads this. Unlikely I know. He is taking me to Denver on sunday to watch Colorado Avalanche. Go Avs! Assuming he is better, he is pretty snotty today. I feel usurped..

floating upside down isn't a good sign

2007-02-09T23:53:00.000Z

My favorite fish, the one that trampolined off leaves and had a fascinatingly manoverable *ahem* anal fin, was sick. We decided he was constipated, as he was looking fat and pale and breathing very quickly. After doing a bit of web based research, I discovered a potential cure... Peas!! Full of fibre and fish-friendly! You have to peel them, which I'm not sure is physically possible, but hey, the little guy was worth it.

So I rushed home to get the pan on, only to find him floating upside down just above the gravel. I was very sad. I netted him out and watched hopefully for a bit of 'oy get off' thrashing around, but there was none. After watching him do the toilet bowl free-style, I started cooking, and couldn't balme the frying onions for my watery eyes. It's insane: I've lost relatives and cried less. As Andy pointed out, we had cared for and tried to nurture him. And fed him a huge red flake that probably led to his untimely demise.

We had a mini-wake, well drank some beer anyway. The positive I take from this is that the two females seem healthy, and they hadn't started to eat him. I'm not sure I could have coped with fish canabalism.

On a more positive note, I swam 25m unaided, on my front, and not looking like a, well, dying fish for want of a better analogy. It might not sound like much, but I think it's the furthest I've swam on my front for about 15 years. I have wanted to get good at swimming for a long time, but it's only now that diving is making me more confident that I can try. I was swimming a half decent front crawl, but bloody hell, it's knackering isn't it? You see all those grannys floating serenly around the pool smiling, I wasn't smiling. They must be turbo-charged.

My drysuit literally just turned up- hurray, freezing mountain lakes here we come! That's if I can get into the thing. I hate gearing up as it is - carrying heavy gear, struggling into the wetsuit, struggling to get the tank onto my back. Well, now I have to do all that while wrapped in several layers of restrictive fleece and a plastic body bag. I managed to get the dry hood on with only minor loss of skin and hair, and I felt like all my face was being forced out through a straw. The underware is close fitting, restrictive and hot, and then you have to struggle into the actual drysuit. I stupidly tried to do this in a 70 degree living room, I though A would come home hours later to find me dead from heatstroke. I couldn't quite bring myself to pull the top of the suit over my head, I know for sure I'd never be able to get out without assistance. After about 5 minutes of swearing, pulling and sweating, I finally managed to get the evil thing off. All I have to do now is learn how to put it all on, get my fins on my feet and my tank on my back and figure out how to manipulate small fiddly things like my torch and reel while wearing 5mm thick neoprene gloves. I seriously think coldwater diving is for masochists only.

d'uh...

2007-02-08T00:10:00.000Z

stupidest thing to say to a 7 month pregnant woman:
'Oh! You're pregnant? I didn't notice. Well, black is very slimming.'

stupidest thing to say to a muslim:
'The bacon soup is very good here.'

I excell myself all the time. To make matters worse, these were both said to the SAME PERSON. She doesn't seem to hate me though, so I think I'm ok.

All the snow is melting and I am very greatful for my enormous boots. They aren't f*ck me boots, more like DON'T F*CK WITH ME boots, which seems appropriate some times.

I'm working hard on my Cambridge application, everyone needs to send good chris vibes to the people at the earth science department and to the sedgewick museum. Unfortunately, A wants to work in Cheltenham. 4 hour round trip each day anyone? No? How about a married couple living in seperate houses? Personally, I'm hoping for an expedious development of practical time travel.

Mmmm.... liquid elephants

2007-01-18T16:31:00.000Z

I have decided I have a learning difficulty. I'm not talking about the number blindness, it's much more serious that that. It affects my ability to perform important everyday tasks like cooking and shopping. I am gravy-blind . I've been to ths shops for gravy three times, and each time I've come away with a packet of Scandinavian flat bread. I don't know how common this granule-flat bread version of gravy blindness is, but if any educational psychologists out there would like to use me as a test case, I'd be happy to help. Readers, don't under-estimate the debilitating effect a lack of gravy identification skills can have on a life. Imagine all those really dry mince-based meals. Yuck.

I bought some rooibos tea yesterday. I have fancied some for a while, but I've resisted because I find it vaguely unsettling. I couldn't figure out why, but the first time I drank it I went 'yuck', but afterwards I quite fancied another cup. I am enjoying some right now, but I finally realised why it bothers me. It smells like the elephant house a chester zoo. Go sniff some, close your eyes and you'll think you are surrounded by dirty straw.

I saw yellow snow yesterday, I thought it was just the stuff of myths and legends. It was almost as exciting as seeing tumbleweed for the first time. I saw two types- one was a kind of jageddy line (poor dog!) and the second was a deep yellow well into unknown depths.

I feel good today, it's sunny and not too cold, and I walked in listening to Nevermind by Nirvana. It's amazing how the right music at the right time can make you feel so good. I love that about it.

Maybe I should do some work now....

Happy New Year!

2007-01-17T00:01:00.000Z

So I've been skiving off for three weeks of fun. I had a really nice Christmas/ New Year/ Birthday. If I can remove myself from my jetlagged stupor long enough I can tell you about it.

Andy and I spent Christmas with my parents', which is always really nice because they get excited and argue over who has the most presents and let me eat Guillian Chocolate Starfish (but no hotdog flavoured water) for breakfast. They bought dive knives for me and Andy, and dad visibly winced every time I took mine out of its sheath. I think the potential it has for cutting me out of fishing line or fending off an angry shark might be outweighed by the likelyhood of me impaling myself on it. Nice bit of kit though, oh I do like my gadgets :).

We managed to see a few family and friends this time, and it was nice that Andy got on with Beccy and Mark, it's always good when you can tell your friends aren't thinking 'god what a pr*ck' when they meet your significant other. I even got up to see Jacqui in Scotland. Thankfully, most of the flood waters have receeded so I didn't need to swim there clutching my shiney new dive knife between my teeth. We chatted and drank wine, and she dragged me up a bloody big hill. On the plus side, I discovered I'm not as unfit as I thought, on the minus it was freezing. The wind was so strong it was hard to walk, and much to Jacqui's relief I couldn't talk because everytime I opened my mouth my teeth instantly froze. Which is suprisingly painful. We also had a mammoth Mighty Boosh watching session. I won't be able to hear the phrase 'fiery biscuits' without thinking fondly of her. Although, to be fair, it doesn't come up too often.

We spent New Year at Andy's nan's house. She is very lovely, but I must be getting old to enjoy seeing in the new year sipping sherry and watching hootenany. I am now thinking fondly of bouncing up and down with hundreds of drunk 15 year olds to auld lang syn then some random cartoon theme tune in Stairways back in t'day. I'm not that old- you can't see my wrinkles when I look miserable.

On my birthday we went for a meal. Charley got in touch just in time, which was brilliant because I didn't think I'd manage to see him. We went for a greek (risking the 'food lottery') and I drank to much, but I think a good time was had by all.

My favorite comment of the night was from Adam : This is the first time I've seen you wearing clothes that don't have gortex written on them.' It's so nice when people notice you have made an effort :-P.

I'm now back in Laramie where it is all snowy and lovely. If you like retenal burns and frost bite. It's about minus lots out there. I'm trying to defrost a fish for tea, no bloody chance. Actually it's quite nice because there is no wind chill right now. I am using it as an excuse not to go running though- hopefully we'll get to go skiing soon.

Damn, I've inadvertantly stayed in work until after night fall. Bad things happen to people who go out after dark here, even people wearing sleeping bags with arm holes and snow boots gauranteed to keep your feet alive after even the hardiest of your huskies has kicked the bucket.

I'm going out for a walk, I may be some time. 'Bout 15 minutes usually.

***************************

Most random jetlagged/insomniac thought: could I market an adult version of pin the tail on the donkey called 'p**t in the c**t'? I disgust myself, I really do.

Abuse and music..

2006-11-04T21:34:00.000Z

My body was recovering nicely from the champagne cork boob bruise and the marathon-induced scabs, so it was time to abuse it some more, this time with alcohol. I've drunk at least ten times what I would in a normal week in the last 5 days.. Appaling.

Some of those units were consumed with a nice curry and some where drunk while watching Sinnerboy, the superb Rory Gallagher tribute band. The guitarist is absolutely note perfect, but has a real passion and energy usually lacking in people playing covers- he plays it like it his own music, which I think is the biggest compliment he could pay to Rory. The rhythmn section are superb too- tight and lively. I was a little aprehensive- surely there can't be many Rory fans on the Wirral? Luckily I was wrong- there was a good crowd. Brian sat reading a magazine through most of the gig, but he was definately in a minority. We all got to hear our favorite Rory songs; dad was happy after an extended version of WALK ON HOT COALS (happy dad?). I was hoping to come home and find out we had won Euromillions and I could fly the band out for my wedding reception- dad pointed out that it would be a bit selfish to have a band playing music I like rather than something middle of the road, but sod 'em I say- if you can't be selfish on your wedding day, when can you? Unfortunately we are still poor, so it won't happen :(. I feel inspired to go home and get my guitar out... if only I didn't have so many damn thesis corrections.

Because one stressful life event isn't enough...

2006-10-31T08:45:00.000Z

So on friday I became Dr Chris, then sunday I made it to Dr Chris the marathon runner... all in all a very strange week. The viva was stressful, but I felt reasonably in control for most of it, and it wasn't too bad. Afterwards, I was happy and relieved and felt this strange urge to work hard and write lots of scientific papers. That feeling evaporated pretty quickly- the last drops vanished yesterday when I got my corrections back- they are fairly nasty. I was hoping to have them done by Christmas but it doesn't look like it will be possible. I'm trying not to think about it right now, I'll make a decision when I'm back home. Southampton was a bit of a shock after Laramie; I've never had a screechy obnoxious southerner shoulder barge past me in small town america, but it was really, really nice to see some friends.

I had the perfect excuse not to get drunk after my viva- the Snowdonia marathon looming on sunday. I spent saturday on a train then dad drove me to Llanberis where we spent the night dossing in a car park in his camper van. I was nervous on sunday morning when I went to pick up my timing chip. This wasn't helped when the woman cheerily handed me a leaflet with 'Britains toughest marathon' written across the front. Something small inside me whimpered.

The marathon wasn't all that bad- the spectacular views definately helped take my mind of the pain of this crazy thing I was doing. I ran a steady 11 min/mile for the first half, but it got exponentially more difficult as I got tired, and all thoughts of breaking 5 hours went out of my head. The first 4 miles where uphill, and I managed to run most of it- it was satisfying to overtake some of the people who'd burned past me in the first mile when they were walking knackered up the first big hill- the altitude training definately helped! After that we had 9 miles of steady descent, which was very welcome. I was able to relax and look around and run for me rather than the clock. A very nice feeling. The traffic was a pain, and I had moments of intense pain and a few 'mini-walls', but I never seriously thought I wasn't going to make it. The support was brilliant- people in laybys, locals and passing cars were all very positive. Even the other runners took time to say well done and chat a bit. The worst bit was the descent into Llanberis- very steep and painful for sore joints. A woman in pink hurtled passed me wailing something about not being able to stop and vanished around the corner in a blur of lycra. I overtook a couple of lads who tried to chat me up in broad yorkshire accents. They lost interest when I warned them not to get downwind of me..

I finished after 5 hours 14 minutes and went to rest and drink tea with dad. I never had a serious moment of 'I can't finish this' or 'never again'... maybe I ran too slowly... maybe it was just the right thing for me to do at the time. I really enjoyed it.

yum

2006-10-23T19:58:00.000+01:00

So apparently the security restrictions on flights have eased, so I can take travel sized toiletries, baby food and up to 4oz of personal lubricant on board should I wish to do so.

All liquids have to be tasted in front of a security person... should I drink the shampoo or ky jelly first?

Crazy yanks.

grump

2006-10-20T22:40:00.000+01:00

I'm having a mini-grump because we were planning on going diving this weekend, but there is a snow storm between here and utah, making the I80 dangerous. I was really looking forward to getting my number of logged dives into double figures too.. AND the vis is up to a huge 4.5 feet. Would have been able to see more than just the end of my nose *sigh*

But for some reason Andy didn't want to camp in sub-zero temperatures. Coward :)

I could do with the distraction- I'm wound up about my viva, which is a week today. I have been revising like a good little doctoral candidate, but I keep finding errors. Mostly just typos, but there are at least 2 big problems that if I get made to fix them it could take a while.. sucks. So, I'm not sleeping well, but I can't concentrate either.

So what to do? Read my thesis? Go to work? Go for a run in the snow? Or hit the freezer and break out the Ben and Jerries... might as well embrace the coldness :)

floaty stuff

2006-10-17T01:20:00.000+01:00

Andy and I went to the rec centre to test out some new gear. Between us (and borrowing a fair bit from joel) we just about manage to cobble together enough gear for one person. I tried out my new reg and computer. The reg is excellent, even if it is so tiny I'm convinced I might actually swallow it at some point. I like the computer apart from when it is going nuts and insisting I am full of nitrogen before I've even dipped a toe in the pool- basically it is confused by being at 7200 feet. Can't blame it, it still confuses me sometimes. Andy was flaunting his lovely transpac bc. I'd steal it, but it doesn't fit :-(.

Sorry this is a fairly dull post, but I am so excited by diving and the feeling of weightlessness and freedom it gives me that I just wanted to talk about it. Yes I am a big, excitable child.

LEFT: never hold your breath while diving. Never. Unless you are pulling tounges at your girlfriend and don't want those pesky bubbles to get in the way.

RIGHT: Andy and Klaus. This shot could be straight out of a PADI manual.. If it was horribly pixilated and both guys were wearing colour coordinated gear (I can't possibly dive with a nitrox tank, the yellow and green would clash with my blue wetsuit dahhling)

RIGHT: turn your monitor sideways and this picture will be the right way up..

RIGHT: arrgh!! the giant pale hairy legged monster claims another victim

Silent Trails

2006-10-15T19:41:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I ran the Silent Trails 10 mile trail race, which is a yearly memorial run held to remember 8 Wyoming cross country runners who lost their lives because of a drunk driver 5 years ago. The race took place up at Happy Jack, and the views were spectacular. I can't think of a better memorial to the poor students.

I was a little nervous because even though I managed to shuffle a painful 18 miles on monday (with much walking), 10 miles is still a long way for me. I did my usual pre-race ritual of sorting my gear, eating porridge and trying to time my fluid intake for maximum hydration and minimum bladder complaints. I messed the last one up hugely. Literally a second after Perry, the race organiser, shouted 'go' and around 120 hardened trail runners and a few not so hardened panicers (ok, me) lept forward gracefully, I realised I had to pee. The first two miles were down hill, so every step jolted my poor bladder upwards. After 2 and a half miles I realised I simply couldn't ignore my body for the rest of the race, and slowed to a walk while I scouted out possible pee locations. Eventually, I ducked off the trail behind a tree. Thankfully, this is Laramie not Birkenead so there was no laughing and pointing from the other competitors.

I rejoined the race, and set off at a more modest pace because unfortunately I had run out of downhill bits to pelt down. All was well until the aid station at 4 miles. Then I set off walking again because I had been warned that there was no point trying to run up the hill that followed, unless I wanted to look like someone running on a treadmill (i.e. not actually getting anywhere). The hill is called 'death crotch'... says it all really, although Christine affectionately calls it 'the bitch'. It's a mile of evil switchbacks, and worst of all, a false summit, so just when you think 'horray I've survived' and start to run again, you hit yet more switchbacks.

Eventually, death crotch was heroically defeated and I managed to set off running again. Pacing was difficult with no mile markers, and I hadn't really thought about how much more difficult 10 miles on a trail strewn with rocks and tree roots would be than my usual road/ dirt path running. Sometimes I would see or hear no other runners for a few minutes, and I would wonder idlly if I had taken a wrong turn. Then a cough or heavy footfall would break the spell and I realised my laboured breathing was blocking out subtle sounds.

I grabbed a drink at the second aid station (6 miles) and finally caught up with a woman I'd been steadily gaining on for about 20 minutes. We had a quick breathless chat, then I got a second wind. After that I had three miles of perfect, peaceful running. There was noone in sight, the views were fantastic and I felt relaxed and strong. I wasn't running to complete a race anymore, I was running just for me.

I passed through a gate we had passed a 1/4 mile after the start of the race, which lead me to believe erroneously that I only had 1/4 mile left to run. So I started smiling and speeding up. Big mistake. There was actually another mile so I suffered quite a lot. I started to hallucinate adoring crowds cheering me on just around the corner, but every corner just revealed more trail, trees and rocks. I thought about the marathon I am running in a few weeks and how much more pain I'll be in near the finish then, and how great it will be because my dad will be there with hot tea. I thought about how bloody stupid running is sometimes.

Then I could see the finish and I felt a whole lot better. People cheered and clapped and I decided that running was good after all, and that runners are nice people. I recovered with some great food and stayed to clap for the few people who came after me (I was pretty near the back).

It was a superb race, everything a race should be with great organisation, friendly competators and a beautiful course. Several times since I moved here I've thought about quitting running because the altitude makes it so tough, but this race was enough to make me realise not quitting was absolutely the right decision.

In 2 weeks I'll be racing again, this time a hell of a lot futher. I know it's going to be tough but I think I'll survive.

Serenity in pea soup

2006-09-13T18:28:00.000+01:00

Two major achievements in a week: my thesis is currently being bound (abandoned might be a better description than finished, but still...) and I am now a certified (but crap) scuba diver.

I'm not going to say much about the thesis; I don't feel relieved or proud I just feel kinda dazed now it is over. It has been such a big part of my life for so long, and I hated it, but now it seems wierd that I don't have to do it any more. At least I can start actually being useful around the house again, and my guitar can come out of it's case. I'm looking forward to that a lot. We are going out tonight so I think tomorrow will be G-day :).

We went to Seabase in Utah on the weekend to do the open water dives for our basic scuba certification. Andy and I got there around 6pm, and look in mild dismay into the green horror that was the 'inland ocean' we were to dive in. We managed to spot some small fish, but the water looked so awful we had very low expectations for diving. Luckily we were distracted by the crazy dogs that lived at the center and some quality all- American junk food.

The certification dives were an interesting experience.. basically, we could see f-all unless it was right infront of our masks. We would desend and wait in the gloom holding onto a guide rope until a hand appeard and gestured a skill to be demonstrated. Some times it was pretty hairy because it was hard to keep track of where Andy was, and I really didn't want to loose him. On the second day he was using his octo so I could just follow the yellow hose and I always knew where his face was. Ocassionally, a fin or torso would appear from the thick pea soup and slap me in the face or become entangled in my hair. I got adept at identifying people in my group by their hands because it was basically all I could see (small hand= lisa, wedding ring=joel, hand holding mine=probably andy). I lost so much crap too; I guess it's important to learn now that anything you take down needs to be securely attached or will soon vanish. If they ever dredge the bay they could make a small fortune selling on dropped gear.

The pictures belong to Andy... I didn't take any. But they give you an idea of how silly we looked and how bad the vis was :).

There is this really cool sunken metal box with windows that gives an air space so we swam into it to chat. Suddenly, a hand slapped onto the window and it was like something out of a horror film. Funny though.

After we were certified, 3 of us hung around to get another dive in. We moved to an area called White Rocks Bay, which we hadn't been allowed in when we were training. This is home to most of the big fish, including the nurse sharks. We hadn't really seen any fish, but we had been reliably informed that the big fish like romain lettice. I desended down a pole, and hung on with my knees. We were only in maybe 10 feet of water, and as my tank was emptying I was getting extra floaty, so I had to grip the pole to stay submerged. After a few seconds I felt a hard tug on the lettice I was holding, so I brought it up to my face. Suddenly, dozens of Scat and Angel fish emerged from the gloom and started pulling chunks off my lettice, and occasionally my fingers too. The looked so beautiful and graceful, I couldn't help laughing. I was floating on my back in a cloud of fish giggling, not caring about the water seeping into my mask along the laughter lines around my eyes. I managed to gently pet some of the scats and they felt strangely coarse and leathery, with delicate feather-like tails. It was truely amazing. As Joel pointed out, if we can enjoy diving in such bad conditions, I am going to really love it when we can actually see things!

Oh... and I was the most sluttily dressed at the wedding.. Just thought I'd point that out.

-------------------------------------------------

And now I'm not so serene: I just had this online chat with first interstate bank:

Brad: Please confirm your social security number, name and date of birth
Me: I just want to know what is going on with your website. Since you 'upgraded it, I can't actually pay any bills. Is it compatable with Mozilla Firefox?
Brad: Unfortunately, to protect your security, I need to confirm your identity before I can help you
Me: But I don't have a question about my account, I just want to know why the website doesn't work anymore. This seems overly secure for a simple question.
Brad: Take your time
Me: (grudgingly supplies details)
Brad: We are updating our records, can you confirm some details?
Me: Umm, ok
(this goes on for a while)
Brad: So what can I help you with today Ms Lane?
Me: As I said, I can't pay any bills online on your online billpay website. I just want to know why. Is it compatable with Firefox? I never had any problems in the past.
Brad: I apologise. Let me research that issue for you.
Me: Ok

***Browser crashes spectacularly***

If you listen carefully you might just hear me banging my head against my laptop.

Panic!!!!!

2006-08-30T18:59:00.000+01:00

So thanks to Bresnan Cable for interupting the Simpsons with a sombre black screen saying CIVIL EMERGENCY ALERT ISSUED FOR ALBANY COUNTY, WY without any explination. I think my heart actually stopped for a second as my system was overloaded with images of Jihad terror raining down on poor little Laramie. And it made me miss a punchline. Bastards. The alert was followed by a cheery split second advert asking for books for schools or some such thing, like the world is going to end so you might as well be charitable and increase your chances of going to heaven. It reminded me of Dad's story about being in the car when the radio went dead. This was during the cold war, when any iminent nuclear strike would be announced initially by radio silence.
Poor sod, I can now imagine the terror that that loose wire must have caused..

I was so mad I almost shouted at a cable guy in the street today. But I'm polite and he was on the phone, it would have been rude to interupt.

Better news: I got a 'very good' on my intro chapter from Tim. I'm fully expecting a gold star or a smiley face next time. I can still remember the first gold star I got at school for my story about talking pinapples. What a great achievement.

Yet more running pictures... Sorry... this time from the half marathon. I'm so proud of my boy, looks a bit grey doesn't he?! :). I just look manic as usual, checking my time to make sure I got a PB... sad.

creeaakkkk... snap.... thump.

2006-08-28T23:58:00.000+01:00

I survived my longest run to date: 14.5 miles of creaky, lopsided pain. I was hoping to get to 15 miles, but I actually thought both my knees might drop off if I carried on. It was dark by the time I finished, and I had a red salty square on my forehead from running by headlamp. I actually enjoyed the first 10 miles, but after that the miles seem to stretch on exponentially, with every step a real challenge. I was going so slowly that it took me almost 3 hours; I don't think Queen Paula is going to be shaking in her slightly urine stained trainers yet.

It was lovely being on the prarie above town. The sun was setting deep red over the hazy Snowies and flocks of birds kept darting out of the grass singing. Shame about the diggers and no trespassing signs. I hope the development holds off long enough for me to complete my training, somehow several hours of running up and down the streets of Laramie doesn't have the same appeal.

I could barely walk when I finished, and my breath was freezing in the air. I feel ok today, but I need to keep an eye on my knees, if that makes sense. I noticed something disturbing about my anotomy.. I think my lopsided running gait is making my breasts wonky. They don't warn you about THAT on runners world! They also don't warn you that putting too much crap in your pouch can cause energy gel sachets to explode and cover everything in peach flavoured jiszm (sorry parents). Nice.

Anyhoo, some of you will have had an email asking for sponsorship. Andy and I discussed asking for money 'for the crazies', but decided it was probably in bad taste :).

Anyone who feels like sponsoring me please go to

www.justgiving.com/chrislikesbiscuits

God, I'm really not sure I can run a marathon; the fatigue and constant cold is pretty bad right now... but I'll give it a bloody good go!!!

glug glug arrghh!..

2006-08-21T20:06:00.000+01:00

I spent the weekend finishing my Introduction chapter for my thesis and learning important stuff about diving. Like how to pee in a wetsuit without anyone noticing and the meaning of some of Andy's more obscene underwater hand signals. I spent about half of my time underwater terified and half exhilerated. I think I'm going to really enjoy myself when there is more to see that the lower half of swimmers and a pool floor. Diving is pretty hard, I'd suddenly shoot up to the surface or smack down onto the pool bottom with only the excrutiating pain in my ears as any sort of warning. By the end I was floating serenly and motionlessly with my legs crossed, feeling quite smug until I suddenly shot up like a cork and breached like a whale. I must be extra floaty- I was wearing 18 pounds of weight by the end while some of the guys were only wearing 2. Maybe it's the breasts :). I forgot about the weight but I remembered pretty damn quickly when I took my BCD off and started to sink. Hence glug glug arrgh. We learn by the mistakes that don't totally drown us.

Some of the stuff we had to do was really horrible, like taking the masks off underwater or trying to breathe from a free flowing regulator (bubbles up the nose, water in the lungs and lots of coughing ensued). I also had the added fun of a leaky purge valve on my mask so I had a continuos slow trickle of water in my nostrils. I was a bit of a slow learner, and once I started freaking out it got harder, but I got the hang of everything. Not bad for a virtual non-swimmer I think :).

Oh yeah the thesis.. grumble grumble, corrections, uggh, fed up is all I have to say about that. We have our checkout dive for the openwater in about 3 weeks, if I can submit by then I can have a really good weekend :).

How to cure a cold...

2006-08-14T15:42:00.000+01:00

..how about having bugger all sleep and running 13.1 miles? Actually, it worked out pretty well for me. I think I'm mostly ill because I'm run down and stressed about my thesis, so getting to forget about it for a whole weekend was great.

I ran the Georgetown to Idaho Springs half marathon with Andy. We drove a senic route there past Lookout mountain, giving me the opportunity to shout 'lookout! mountain!'.. I do this everytime we pass and will continue until either Andy laughs or hell freezes over.

I had one of those rare pleasures: a perfect race. Everything came together for me on the day, I ate right and ran strong. I thought I was on for a mild case of the Paulas, but everything settled down ok :). The course was undulating, but generaly undulated in a downward direction, so it was great. Our pace varied between a crazy 9.30 per mile (very fast for me, slow for normal people!) and just over 10 min miles. We ran the first half in 1:04. I was thinking about slowing down anyway when Andy started to feel ill. So, not only did I run a PB by about 7 minutes, but I also proved to myself that I'm not a horribly over competative selfish runner by walking with Andy when he needed it. I reasoned that I'd have other half marathons but only one fiance. I did leave him in the last half mile and, as advocated by some crazy shouty spectators, 'ran my buns off'. There were a lot of friendly spectators, and we were wearing our patriotic tops, which allowed all the Colorado brits to locate us. The atmosphere was great. Now if I can just shave about 40 mins off my time I might start winning :).

We went back to the motel and replaced the smell of damp dog that seemed to be eminating from the bedding with a smell of strong muscle rub. The hotel was a bit skanky, but at least the power was back on- the night before there had been an outage and the woman on the desk was working by torchlight. She wasn't too pleased that we couldn't pay our bill in advance, 'the boss normally likes payment in advance','yes but you have no power so can't process credit cards, 'yes, but he normally likes payment in advance'... jeez.

We discovered the motel jacuzii, and 15 minutes of having my swimming costume inflated by the air jets and my legs soothed was almost enough to make me forgive the damp dog smell. We did get shouted at as we left the spa because it was 'by appointment only'..maybe if they put up some signs to that effect or told people on check in it would help.

Sunday we had a gold panning lesson, which was a lot of fun. We now have 6 gold flakes between us, so paying for the wedding should be a breeze. We came back via Fort Collins to get measured for wetsuits and to pick up a photoframe. Andy also dragged me kicking and screaming into some clothes shops since we have a wedding to go to in a few weeks. God, I hate shopping with a passion: the continual looking at my bad hair and wobbly bits in the mirror; failing to fit into anything because I'm not 6 foot tall with a 20 inch waist. In the first shop I was helped by a very perky shop assistant. I found some clothes that were actually nice and cheap and went to try them on. After a few minutes a voice outside asked 'is everything ok?' I replied in tight angry voice, that yes, everything was fine, but what I actually ment was 'I'm stuck by the boobs in one of your stupidly complicated many strapped double layered tops and the panic is making me expand and get more stuck. Please f*ck off while I try and rip my way out.' The next item was a dress with crossover straps, that I had no clue how to get into. Andy came and helped me and together we managed to garotte me. I tried one nice funky dress on (Andy said he could see Jacqui wearing it, which I thought was a good sign) but it made me look like a hairy hippo so I left sad and humiliated. After a few more 'I look like the side of a house, waahh!' moments I finally managed to get a fairly nice halter neck dress and heeled shoes. It's a catholic wedding and I'm going in a 'bad munroe' style dress and heels I can't walk in. Lord help me.

Insomnia

2006-08-05T18:51:00.000+01:00

So what exactly is the point of insomnia? What possible benefit to humanity comes from lying awake at 4am with 7 seconds of a emenem album track that I don't particularly like endlessly looping around my head. I've been like this for almost two weeks, and all that has changed is that I've got progressivly tireder, iller and more grumpy, and sometimes the song loop switches to Jackson by Johnny Cash. This is even more annoying because I don't know the words, so my brain spends hours going 'we got married in a fever, meneh meneh meneh meneeer.' I wonder what the selection criteria for the tunes is?

Anyway yesterday I felt sufficiently sorry for myself to dig through the recycling bag for a copy of Cosmo that Beth had brought with her. I hate cosmo, but I'd already pretended to read Andy's Physics World and still craved something glossy to point my eyes at. I don't do girly, I don't do shopping, I don't do clothes and I don't do gossip, so I'm not really into Cosmo. Even the sex talk is recycled- you only need to read it once a year for a few years and you've read all the hints. How many times do we need to be informed that you can 'fill a condom with ice and freeze it for a sexy treat'? Right now I'd rather add fruit juice and eat the results.

I opened the mag at random three times, and got

1) Jazz hands- get your man to put vibrating penis rings on his fingers
2) Brown watery vaginal discharge
3) A celeb so skinny she looked like a centrurys dead thing wearing a badly fitting skin suit with a hideous puffball skirt over the top, who was described as 'effortlessly feminin'. She just looked f*cking hungry to me.

I ploughed on anyway. It was definately better than my previous reading (Airframe by Michael Crichton.. the first book I've read that was so bad I just read a few pages every now and again to have a vague idea of the plot and then skipped to the end. A bit like watching porn on fast-forward, so I'm told. Crichton thinks global warming is a silly lefty fantasy, but it's hard to condem the guy who gave us ER and Jurrasic Park).

I feel better for having a bit of a rant anyway. I'd write more but I have a flight to book and then there's the little matter of my final thesis chapter... maybe that explains why I'm not sleeping.

Weddings, evil vegetarians and groaning

2006-07-27T20:56:00.000+01:00

I know it's far too beautiful for a she-male like me, but I just ordered this weding dress. I'm so excited I keep grinning and clapping like a retarded seal. The experience wasn't as traumatic as I thought it's be, once the assistant had pried off my baggy shorts and T-shirt combo it all went quite smoothly. She brought me some rediculous underware that took several minutes of sustained effort to squeeze me into and left me looking like a burlesque dancer from moulin rouge. I was concerned the underskirt and corest combo was actually the gown, and she had me down for a slutty wedding, so I was vaguly relieved when she brought me several acres of chiffon and beading to go over the top. It's probably going to be a summer wedding and I'm wearing more fabric than the UN ship out for tempory shelters after an earthquake. I might have to go all roman and employ a legion of small boys to continually fan me during the wedding. I tried on 5 gowns before buying the first one, which was the one I'd gone with the intention of buying anyway. This is obscenely girly by my standards, but it was the nicest, Andy and Beth agreed. I did like one of the others purely because it gave me a Manga-style exagerated waistline, but that seemed like a vain reason to pick a gown. I'm totally in love with the one I have picked. If we get married here, we'll have a party in the UK too so I get to wear it twice, yay!! All I have to do now is figure out how to corner with a train attatched, or plan a route to the chapel that involves only ever walking in straight lines.

Of course, we haven't made any plans, set a date, or even decided which country to do this in, so I might end up a Miss Haversham style man-hater gently rotting in my lovely gown.

Left: Andy and Beth seem strangely excited by their pumping efforts

The next day we went into the Snowies, partly just for the hell of it and partly to look for potential wedding venues. We found a few nice lakes and wooded areas, but there was genrally something wrong; the lake might be popular with anglers, or the woods might be crawling with ants. Then we found a chapel that was just perfect. I am excited to be marrying Andy because I love him and want to spend my life with him, so I'd marry him anywhere, but if we could do it here it would be absolutely amazing. The views are breathtaking, with mountains on two sides, and a lake a short walk away. The fields are studded with wild flowers. It's a fair drive out of Laramie, it's icey in winter and spring and hot in summer and it'd probably rain, but I'm just completely captivated by the place. There's also a cabin nearby where we could decamp for food after the ceremony, but I'm getting way ahead of myself now. The chapel is owned by a local diocese, so there is a chance we wouldn't be allowed to have a non-religious ceromony there, but we'll see.

Left: views around the chapel

We came out the other side of the Snowies in Sarotoga, a dissapointingly uninspiring place. It does have hot springs though, which interested me on one level as a geologist, and on a much more important level as a runner with achy legs that needed a good soak.

Left: soaking in the disconcetingly warm stream.

I was having flash backs to being in a swimming pool as a child when you get a warm patch and know there can't be any good reason for it being warm.

After Sarotoga, we headed back to Laramie. It was Beth's last night so went went for a meal at Sweet Melissa's, Laramie's only vegetarian restaurant. The food was great, but I think they might have heard me and Andy winding Beth up for her sentimentality over animals (she isn't vegetarian), so they decided to get revenge on us. We were both ill when we got back. I felt like someone was stabbing hot knives in my stomache. I had a moment of relief when the pain ended, which was quickly replaced with humiliation when the noisier, messier phase of the illness started. Andy was ill too, but always manages to make less of a fuss than me. We ended up waddling around walmart at midnight searching for imodium, groaning at the sight of the 'restrooms unavailable, sorry' sign. Quite literally a crappy end to a nice few days, but we are better now.

Rocky Mountain national park

2006-07-23T21:48:00.000+01:00

Despite Andy looking like a glam rock hamster (swollen face, purple and green eyes- the results of a broken nose due to impact with a softball), we went away as planned. We didn't manage to introduce Beth to the joys of camping because he didn't feel up to driving all the way to the national park on the first day so we stayed in a motel in Fort Collins. We got to Rocky Mountain the next day, and it's absolutely stunning. We drove the highest paved road in America (12000 ft), saw elk and a golden eagle and generally enjoyed not thinking about scary things like vivas.

The next day we made it into Denver. I don't really like big cities, but the main shopping street was pretty quiet. Maybe American's don't do the whole hang out in town on saturday thing. Cow Parade is there, I'm sure the Prague cows were better but maybe I'm biased. We did see some cool ones, including a zebera in a cow costume. One day I might be at a cow parade and not feel the urge to pet all the cows. We spent a long time in Denver aquarium. It's a really nice place, and they thoughtfully keep the tanks really clean so it's easy to take pictures through the glass. I'm really pleased with some of the pictures. I might not be the next Dr. Mustard, but at least I kept my feet dry.

Left: posing chipmunk

Left: jellies, I love this pic! Technically crap but very cool

Below: nemo fish! nemo fish!

Laramie Rodeo

2006-07-19T22:00:00.000+01:00

Life is good: the rodeo is in town, I've finished my wide-angle chapter and my eyebrow has finally started growing back.

We saw a very cool band on sat night, but it made me sad because I'm still writing up so I still don't have time to play my guitar much.

Beth is here so we are going to take her to the Rockies for a few days and try and convince her that the great outdoors is much more fun than shopping.

Left: Miss Laramie and her lady in waiting (who, incidentilly, might be pretty and graceful but rides a horse like a tightly tied on sack of sh*t). Only in Laramie could a woman think a tiara over a cowboy hat was a good look.

Right: Horse riding western style: take off the saddle, poke the horse with spoons until it's really pissed off and try to hang on.

Bottom: yes, that is a small boy riding a sheep. I'm not sure what I can say about that really. Life's an experience, innit?

HRCA sunset 10k

2006-07-06T23:24:00.000+01:00

here are the photos from the 10k as promised. They are screen grabs from the official photographers' website... but if you are worried about this blatant infringment of copy right you'll be pleased to know I have ordered some prints from him

gawd bless 'merica

2006-07-05T22:23:00.000+01:00

So it was the 4th of July and time to celebrate indipendance from George W. Well, I celebrate Christmas and I don't believe a guy with a grey beard made the earth in 7 days, so why not? We headed out of Laramie and managed to avoid any overt patriotism- just a few stars and stripes bandannas (on bikers riding machines that aren't road legal- Wyo has a state law that says bike handle bars must be lower than the riders shoulders. I wonder what the police do if the pull any of the offending chopper riders' over- attempt to surgically raise there shoulders?). We did hear one 'God bless America', but I'll come back to that.

We went up to the expensive stepford wives-ville of Highlands Ranch, CO. This is still under construction, we particularly liked the gate posts labelled 'town center' that made up an impressive enterance to a completely empty field. We were there to attempt another 10k. It was called the 'sunset 10k', so I foolishly believed it would occur during a cool part of the day. Unfortunately they moved the start time to 5.30 and I was soon wilting in the 29 degree heat. The chaffage from my horrible new running shorts was really painful too, I did breifly consider running half the race naked from the waist down. I'm still walking like John Wayne. I also naively believed the race would be 10k, but it was actually 10.5. I put in a very poor performace, and actually thought I was heading for my first DNF. Andy had other ideas, and bullied me around in a Personal Worst of an hour and 16 minutes, including lots of walking/ staggering. I finally cheered up in the last 800m, and raced Andy for the finish, causing the commentator to talk about 'the spirit of healthy competition'. Andy let me win because he is nice. I'm way more competative than him when it comes down to it. Maybe I'm just more insecure.

Despite an appaling time and being overtaken by all the ususal race rear enders (people with assorted pets, children and strange limps), Andy won 3rd place for our age group. Oh how we laughed (ok I admit I'm jelous of his medal). It was funny, we'd overtake the same collection of stragglers (man about to have a coranory, woman with sweaty bum, 80's cool dude and his woman), then I'd have to walk and they'd over take us. I'd then start up again and we'd whizz past them again. It was like being in a cheap Hanna Barbera cartoon.

I think we might be on some photos, if I can work out which company took them I'll try and get copies and post them here.

During the post-race awards, there was a fly-past of some military jets. The commentator said 'I'm glad they're on our side; God bless America!'... you try keeping a straight face when confronted with this!! Andy thinks he was being sarcastic but I'm not so sure. Not only was it a horribly, gushingly patriotic thing to say, since when did being on the same side as the American air force stop them shooting at you?

When we finished we went onto the village green to watch a crazy but cool mowtown showband in very dazzling red sparkly jackets. Cool, but probably too expensive to hire for the wedding :(. I never thought I'd see people line dancing to 'Soul Man', but now I have. It was like gatecrashing a family wedding. We relaxed and shivered as a front came over and the sky got darker and darker. The rain came, so we didn't get to see any fireworks, but we did see a lot on the way back.

Despite my PW, it was a good day, and it hasn't TOTALLY put me off trying to do a marathon. Andy got a medal for his trouble, I think he deserves one for putting up with me- he is being my third parent now, I never have to go too long without a hot meal, cup of tea or clean pair of pants. How do people write theses without someone like him to look after them? I'd have given up by now I think.

Oh and work still sucks. But they are paying me and I'm skiving off lots (i.e. writing my thesis, which is going suprisingly well)

Happy indipendance/ freedom from tyranny and opression day :-p

xxC

Devils Tower

2006-06-25T15:22:00.000+01:00

Well I'm having a dull weekend wrting my thesis and recovering from a cold, so I thought I'd tell you about last weekend. I've always thought it was appropriate that Wyoming's colours are brown and yellow, since those are the dominante coulours of the landscape. In an attempt to prove me wrong, Andy took me to northern Wyoming, where it's actually green and nice. We were camping in temperatures that would actually register on a thermometer, so it was a big improvement over Christmas in Utah. We relaxed and read books and ate yummy camp food with an excellent view of the badly punctuated but impressive Devils Tower. It's a volcanic plug, and looks like a tall narrow verion of the Giant's Causway. We did a little bit of walking, and played football and frisbee (Andy has found one I can throw; amazing). It was nice to just relax and not worry about my thesis for a few days.

Below: Images of Devils Tower

Right: The tower reflected. Sorry, I have a thing for photos of reflected images

Left: Noisy, stupid and very cute.. Prarie dog allegedly guarding his colony while being completely oblivious to me creeping up on him. I got within a foot of hime before he visibly bottled it, screeched and dissapeared down his hole.

We came back via South Dakota and these funny big head rock things. Mount Rushmore I think. They are an impressive feat of engineering, but the novelty of looking at them wears off quickly. You can extend it by debatingwhich cartoon featured a character emerging from one of the giant rocky nostrils. Sadly, they aren't hollow so it's not that likely to happen. Anyway it's funny watching Americans trying to be patriotic and think of things to say other than 'wow'. They are impressive, but I think Lincoln looks quite a lot like Robocop. Maybe that's just me.

Left: Robolincoln is shunned by the other trolls

Below: Fear me, my nostrils could engulf you

advice?..

2006-06-09T22:33:00.000+01:00

Well I finally made a little progress, no thanks to tec support. It's taken me two weeks, but having tried everything short of turning my computer upside down and trying to run the migration sideways, I've finally made a *small* amount of progress. It got me thinking about how much time I'd wasted this week.. So here are some ways to waste time while still looking busy:

1) When you leave your desk, always walk briskly and carry at least one sheet of office paper or several post it notes.
2) When web browsing make sure you can switch to a work related site (Paradigm help desk in my case) at a moment's notice. This is where tabbed browsing really comes into its own.
3) Occasionally push back from your desk, sigh expansivly and run your hands through your hair. This is most dramatic and noisy if there are no wheels on your chair
4) Hunch intently over your keyboard. You may be risking RSI, but it does have the twin benefits of making you look deeply interested in your work while hiding the poker website you are actually looking at
5) frequently look at your watch and mutter paniced expletives
6) Photocopy everything. Absolutely everything. When you run out of things to photocopy, do it all again. This makes you look productive and also lets you get intimately aquainted with all the tuneful squeeks and rattles of your particular copier. I now speak the language of the geofiz copier, and can distinguish 'last sheet gone through' from 'paper jam' from 20 yards.
7) Pile a blank ream of paper in your intray, cleverly overlain with a page of such hard core intellectuallism that noone will examine it too closely
8) 'Work' through lunch. Even if you are looking at guitars/ running shoes/ ukuleles/ tranmere rovers continued search for a manger/ friend's blogs* online (*replace with personal interests), it makes you look extra dedicated, so when you leap up, look at your watch and shout 'DAMN' at 3.30pm and leave in a hurry, people will assume you are late for a very important meeting rather than sloping off home early,
9) Hire a PA. Not tried this myself, but it's bound to make you look importnant.
10) Update your CV. This makes you seem career focused and on the ball, and has the added benifit of helping you get the %&@# out of the job that is making you go to all this effort to waste time in the first place.

Yawn....

2006-06-08T19:13:00.000+01:00

It's hot here. Really hot. Laramie only does 2 seasons: freeze off your appendages quickly or gradually cook them off in layers. At least that is a good thing about my job- I have a nice cool lab to work in. The job isn't going so great mainly because I'm trying to use some software that apparently only people in Israel know how to use. I didn't make that up, that's what tec support finally admitted after two weeks of unhelpfulness. So, since I don't want to apply for Isralie citizenship, I have to sit in my air conditioned lab moaning and getting better aquainted with my iTunes library. But at least I'm working insde, unlike the guy on our street who is renovating his house. He is currently leavering planks of wood off his house, which is confusing me because surely since the house is made of wood he'll eventually run out of planks to leaver off and be left standing in a rather large pile of dry kindling?

I'm writing my thesis in pretty much any free moments. I managed to escape occasionally to train for some ill-advised races I've signed up for or, even rarer, to play my poor neglected guitar. It's summer, I should be out exploring with Andy not sat at home pondering the extensional geometry of small ocean basins. Unfortunately, I've got to the point of having done enough work to not want my efforts to go to waste, but not enough to actually submit the bloody thing. If it wasn't for Andy I'd not have had any cooked food or clean pants for quite some time now. If he ever leaves me I'll be skanky and hungry within days.

I've just had 2 days of induction as a new employee, which mostly involved filling out forms and listening to presentations of various shades of dull. The most entertaining for me was the IT specialist who was unable to advance a slide in her Powerpoint presentation. You can stop throwing things like VPN and DSL into the talk now love, you have no credibility. The first challenge was getting there, it was like being in an Indiana Jones film. First hazard are the car drivers, who are courteous to a fault. If you even think about crossing the road they will pull up, even in the middle of a busy road, leaving you unsure if they have stopped for you or the cars waiting to pull out, and the drivers behind them wondering if they should overtake this odd guy who has stopped for no apparent reason. So they are courteous but lacking in common sense. Next hazard are the sprinklers. The uni ones are particularly lethal; they start without warning and suddenly increse power or change direction. One set were programmed to soak the pavement in a carefully correographed sequence, so to get past them relatively dry involved splitsecond timing, like some unfortunate about to be soggy sprite in a platform adventure game. And don't get me started on the dogs. Why does every bugger here own big noisy dogs that are free to roam and scare sensitive types like me? One even tried to heard me by nipping the back of my leg. Ok so no of this is on par with being chased by rolling boulders or thrusting spikes, but I do find humming the Raiders of the Lost Arc helps me get through. On the plus side, now I've done all the paperwork, at least if my morning walk in becomes so fraught with danger I get hurt, I am now insured to be put back together again.

Anyway, why is this post called yawn? Well, I'm doing that rather annoying thing of feeling ill and tired all the time. It means I'm basically either asleep, working, or writing my thesis without the energy to do much else. Although I obviously have sufficient time and energy to write this madness, so maybe I can't complain too much. xxx

Another bb pic

2006-06-02T16:53:00.000+01:00

Not a great quality picture because I screen grabbed it from a website... but I thought it was pretty cool. You can tell it is near the start of the race :). It's a real shame Andy was chopped off.

WTF?!

2006-05-31T17:31:00.000+01:00

I appear to have developed eyebrow alopecia. I had to give myself a tiny combover this morning. I'm sure it's stress related rather than due to overzelous plucking.

I hope it grows back or I'll be one of those scary old bloated women with red lips and pencilled on facial hair :(

BolderBoulder

2006-05-31T04:54:00.000+01:00

Left: anxiously waiting...

Well the lower altitude ment that I didn't get the 'breathing through a damp sock while having my lungs squeezed' feeling, but I still found it really tough. Andy helped a lot and encouraged me to a PB of 59'33", which is a good minute and a half faster than I managed in training last week. Bolder is a nice town and the course was interesting. There were lots of bands to keep us entertained, including some really bad cheezy guitar groups yelling a lot. The race was really well organised with the start staggered into waves to avoid the chaos of 50,000 people trying to get near the front. Great for us but not so good for the poor trumpeter who had to play a salute every 3 minutes. We didn't managed to start in the same wave as Christine and Angel, but they didn't take too long to overtake us. I wanted to give up near the end, which is a shame because I was too knackered to appreciate the novelty of a stadium finish.

After unsucessfully looking for our friends, we grabbed as much free food as possible and went back to the hotel to shower. After looking forward to it for miles, I couldn't face drinking my free cold can of generic larger, I was just too queezy. Maybe I would have appreciated the novelty of puking in front of a stadium full of people, but thankfully the race finished and I managed to keep my digestive tract sealed.

Left: Andy flying the flag for Norwich infront of the stadium finish. Interestingly, his official time was 1s slower than mine, even though he dragged me around the last 2k. hehehe

When we got back, the event was on TV. We picked a good time to escape- lots of scary memorial day type gushing patriotism was happening, including the playing of that god-aweful 'god bless the USA' song from a year or two ago. Truly cringeworthy. I'm all for showing support for the poor sods who have to get shot at in Iraq every day, but I don't really go for over zelous saccrine patriotism.. It was quite funny though. We watched the start of the women's race from the hotel, then went out to watch the end. The look of pain on some of their faces was crazy- I knew I was right, running ISN'T fun!! I haven't been so close to a professional race before- luckily I managed to remember to lean back away from the barrier with my camera as the lead pack thundered past (if skinny women can thunder).

After it was all over we managed to find our friends and go for the obligatory post race post mortem in the cheesecake factory. It was a well organised event, a nice course and a good place to hang out afterwards. Isn't that what it'll all about?!

Right: Our fan club cheered us on. Oh, alright, they were actually watching the GB professional men's team.

Sun and stuff

2006-05-25T22:18:00.000+01:00

It could almost be summer: it's toasty warm and people are out mowing their lawns. You can tell the ones that own sprinklers because their homes are surrounded by a lush swathe of verdant green, rather that the dusty mottled brown stuff that normally passes for grass here. We have tomatoe plants and we are going to plant sunflowers soon.

I ran 10k yesterday, and I'm very proud of it. Having Alice in Wonderland to listen to helped take my mind of it.. unfortunatley, I tucked my mp3 player into my sports bra to stop it bouncing, and the display is now sloshing with what looks disturbingly like cleavage sweat. Hopefully it'll dry out. I kept running past this cute family, and after about the fifth lap they moved their daughter on her little stabalised bike over to let me past. Unfortunatly, they moved her over a bit too far and her wheels hit the grass. All I heard as I ran past was THUMP WAHHHHHHH!!! Should I feel guilty?

Andy is playing softball and seems to not be sucking at it too badly. It's cool to see him really enjoy something.

The guitar playing is going well, but I really must stop picking at my finger calouses. It's counter-productive.

Anyway I'm in work and the boss is here, so I better look busy :)

Another weekend...

2006-05-22T04:57:00.000+01:00

I managed to get a few corrections done this weekend. I'm in the process of trying to resucsitate a truly awful chapter. The patient is doing quite well, and I think I might be able to save it... it's just a question of time now, i.e. I don't have any. I'm pretty stressed- I have to submit by 30th of Sept and every time I think about it I feel like I'm watching one of those big millenium countdown clocks with a sense of impending doom... It's a bit late for millenium analogies, but then I always say I think up the good jokes too late.

I escaped from the corrections on sat night and had a very nice meal with Andy, Christine, Angel and Gustavo. Andy and I went on to the Cowboy afterwards because there was a band on that I wanted to see. Well, I've never been to the Cowboy before and I was in fits of giggles because it lived up to its name. It's very much like the redneck bar in the Blues Brothers film, thankfully without the chickenwire around the stage. There was a plethora of people in denim, plaid shirts and cowboy hats in what is basically a barn with a stage. Unfortunatly they have taken the mechanical bull out for the summer. I never thought I'd live to see people spontaneously line dancing. There was a good atmosphere and lots of people watching fodder. My favorites were an old couple dancing to their own internal rhythm. The guy in particular looked like a partly shaven suntanned silverback gorilla. At least they didn't look like they were fighting on the dancefloor- country dancing is vicious!

Today was sunday, so it was time for another disasterous run. We drove up to Vedewoo for a change of scenery. That's us there on the left, the impressive Turtle Rock granite formation behind us. We are wearing very cool running tops from foska.com, which we bought with some money that Andy's parents gave us, so thanks Meri and David! Anyway, we set off over the trails, leaping over boulders and tree routes and generally having what runners would masochistically call 'fun'. This lasted for about 10 minutes until I felt like someone had reached a hand inside my chest and was squezing my lungs. We carried on, but I had to stop and walk up every slight incline and wheeze and hack at the top like an asthmatic old codger. I wasn't sure if it was the extra few hundred meters of altitude, the undulations of the path or just plain crapness, but it was very frustrating. I felt bad for Andy too because he was having to run painfully slowly and stop all the time because he didn't want to abandon me. Eventually we completed the loop, and I went for a walk while Andy ran the loop again to try and get some real exercise. I must admit, when he came back 30 mins later saying he'd had to walk most of it because he too had been wheezing like an asthmatic old codger I felt a bit relieved.

Anyway, I'm shattered. guitar then bed I think. Night night xxx

mmm... flaky

2006-05-19T20:59:00.000+01:00

I look like a rattlesnake today, I appear to be sheading all the sking from my shoulders and it's bloody painful. You wouldn't think that an hour in the spring sun could sand all the skin from your body, but apparently it can in Wyo. That'll learn me.

I got horribly burned last sunday on an entirely unsucessful long run. Well, it was sucessful for Andy- he managed 10k, but I managed about 4. We are running in the Boulderboulder a week on sunday and my only two hopes are
1) it's at lower altitude so I might not feel like I'm trying to breathe through a warm sock and
2) 50000 people take part so it's likely to be so conjested I have to crawl all the way. Fine by me.

I ran 3k at a decent pace this morning... so only ~37 to go then I will have done a marathon!

My new toy

2006-05-12T15:42:00.000+01:00

This is me with my lovely new Fender CD60. It was a bargain and it's a really nice guitar- playable, a good tone, new guitar smell :). It's chinese made from laminate wood, but you can't expect too much for $160 can you? I've been learning to finger pick, and Andy must be sick of hearing me playing the same simple 12 bar piece over and over again, but he is very patient. I've nearly got the hang of it, which is good because I've shreaded my fingertips! I'm going to take a class next month with Beth, the girl that sits next to me in the lab. I'm hoping to have learned all the major, minor and seventh chords by then as well as nailing the blues tune and one song... actually, that's a high standard, I'd settle for just being able to play without my fingers falling off.

Back in Laramie

2006-05-06T00:20:00.000+01:00

I'm in Laramie, and this time you can actually go outside without appendages freezing off: it must be spring. I am adjusting reasonably well- I'm managing to get up in the mornings, but I am getting very tired at the end of the working day. Not that I'm working amazingly hard at the moment- I have all the ususal new job issues of paperwork and trying to get computers to work. I'm going to be working initially on sorting out a dataset that appears to have been randomly distributed across a large number of computers following no pattern and with no documentation. To say it's disorganised would be something of an understatement. Ah well, I'm being paid so I'll grin and bear it. I have a US bank now, but I have to go to the state capital Chyenne to order a social security number so I can offically 'exist' in the system here. Everything is fine; there was no culture shock this time but two things are perplexing me: why can you only buy toothbrushes with enourmous heads, and who would think an 8 foot varnished bear was a good garden ornament? The trip out was a little traumatic- 3 flights and then a minor hitch at immigration when my paperwork was a tiny bit iffy. All sorted now, amd Andy is making turkry burgers tonight, mm!

Ricky Gervais does the Simpsons

2006-04-23T19:08:00.000+01:00

Well there's 20 minutes of my life I won't get back. As David Brent might say, Ricky Gevais is overrated. Fact.

50th...

2006-04-23T15:29:00.000+01:00

Some pics from my parents' 50th birthdays ...... Not bad for 50, are they?!

Left: me and dad... I'd never need a paternity test, would I?!

Below: Mum and shrek. Wierd, huh? Below: mum and dad

I am leaving for Laramie a week today to live with my lovely future husband :). I am at the stage of having to 'put my affairs in order', or is that just what people do before they die? Must check. I have lots of things to sort out, but at least it is stopping me from worrying about my new job. Not that the job I'm leaving is an old job- I've only been there 2 months and I'll be sorry to leave. I have got passed the stage of floating around in a kindly cloud of benevolance- it's hard to be kindly and benevolent when you have a four foot wizend bag of evil screaming abuse and waving a walking stick in your face. Like all carers eventually do, I've evolved a set of coping stratagies:
1) bad taste jokes at the expense of, but out of earshot of, the offending resident
2) a thick skin (I know I'm not terrible and stupid, so I don't really worry if said four foot wizened bag thinks I am)
3) knowing when to walk away and get help (we are only human)
4) Finding humor in the situation... 2 examples:
-Me: Would you like some gravy on your dinner
Bag: Yes
(pour gravy)
Bag:Urrghh... not THAT sort of gravy, take it away!!
Me: Oh I'm sorry , I didn't realise you wanted the OTHER sort of gravy.

-Today, we stood a lady up to pull up clean pants and trousers 3 times, every time she started peeing and we had to sit her down and change her pants. The last time, the pee was a raging torrent that soaked her, her knickers, clean trousers and her slippers. What can you do, other than giggle and get a flannel, and try and hold on to your sanity?

Well, I love it anyway. It's a shame to leave, but I can't have everything my own way.

I've been poorley again, just a cold and exhausted all the time. The exhaustion remains, but doesn't it always? I can't remember the last time I felt properly alive and energetic. I feel better when I'm running, but getting my kit on and getting out of the door is a real challenge. I hate feeling like this, but I'm making the best of it.

That's it for now, see y'all in Laramie (save a horse, ride a cowboy!)

Lots of stuff..

2006-03-23T15:23:00.000Z

Lots of exciting news...

Andy proposed underneath Sloth in the Roaches on a very cold and damp day. The sun came out briefly and we took it as a good omen. Two minutes later the sky was p*ssing ice all over us and he looked like he was wearing dimante false eyelashes. We had a cream tea to celebrate. We went the pub with my parents the next day, and I asked dad for champagne. He came back with a pint of stella, which somehow seemed more appropriate. We wont be getting married for a while, but I've picked my tiara out already. The thought of it is making me more girly- I've started painting my nails (bright red) and wearing perfume again.

left: After Andy proposed on 16th March, Roaches in the background.

Andy's visit was a lot of fun, we went to chester zoo with my paretns and grandad one day, and it was a nice relaxed day. Mum lost her faculties when she saw a chimpanzee pooing into it's own hand- I've never seen anyone laugh so hard in my life.

below: Watching the elephants

My part time job is going well- who'd have though being shouted at by pensioners would be such fun?! Most of tehm are lovely, and most of the time it's a plesure to be there.

I turned down Nick's old job at Gardline- it looks like I'll be off to Wyo for a year or so. This is excellent news as far as I am concerned- Andy and I need to live together, it's a priority now and that is the best way for it to happen.

All I need now is to finish my thesis and life will be really good!

James Blunt

2006-02-25T17:37:00.000Z

so last night Kate's very nice friend Hab took us and her bloke Gary to see James Blunt. For free. In a limo. With champagne. He he.

It was great fun getting out of the limo and watching people trying to work out who the hell we were- guess not that many limos pull up outside the Manchester Apollo :). I was people watching too- as well as `normal' people there were all the stereotypes- groups of screeming girls, lads with frigteningly over-moussed boyband haircuts, ugly men with their girlfriends, bright-eyed middle aged men... must admit I couldn't have predicted the bouncy short spanish girl bouncing up and down infront of me, with her course candyfloss hair stuck up my nostrils. We were in standing quite near the front, with a great view (of camera phones mostly).

Jason mraz provided support. He came on stage in a hoodie and baseball cap, and plugged his own guitar in (no guitar tech *gasp*!). His voice was stunning, with an excellent range (annoyingly demonstrated by operatic vocals on one song). He is also a great guitarist, lots of jazz shapes slipping in. Nice! Unfortunately, it just doesn't quite work. Tonnes of potential go in, but somehow what comes out the other in is pretty dull. Shame.

The concert was absolutely superb. I've seen Metallica, Queen, the Who, Black Sabbath, Robbie Williams, the Levellers... but this was definately up there in the top three. Below Skunk Anansie, but up there. James Blunt has an unexpected stage presense, which understandably made the screeming girls more high pitched and excitable. His voice was faultless, and the seriousness of his songs was broken both by some nice banter (`I don't remember the words to this one, and sice it's new song, you lot are no f*cking use' and 'the guys can't sing along to this one because I sing like a little girl') and an absolutely crackign version of Slade's Cos I luv you (it just needed the electric violin to be perfect).

The best moments came when James got rid of his band and sung by himself, just him and his piano. His version of Goodbye my lover made me a bit girly and weepy. As for anyone who still thinks he is just a chick-lite girly background music peddler, they should listen to No Bravery, the most convincing, angst ridden anti-war song since Imagine. And if they still don't like him then they are Tossers. Got that?

I think the biggest suprise for me though was discovering that posh can be sexy. Who'd have thought it?

Bloody supervisors...

2006-02-24T14:57:00.000Z

so I've put a lot of effort into living up to my 'you only get one life' philosphy these past few months, and it has really helped- I've been enjoying myself, and I rearly get upset about things that don't matter. Today I made an exception though... I got my corrections back for another chapter. Admittedly, one I knew was a bit weak. Tim's comments were negative as ever, which I could cope with. Then I found the note he'd sent with it, in his scary, aggressive southpaw-psychotic handwriting:

'enclosed are preprints of a couple of papers, written by a PhD student, that are excellent examples of how to present a similar dataset to yours.'

Now, I know he didn't mean it, but to me this says 'enclosed is how to do properly what you are doing a piss-poor job of doing.' The lack of sensitivity really annoyed me. I know I must be a huge dissapointment to him, but you know what? I don't care half as much as I should. I have nothing to prove to myself. I've been through hell doing this phd- its stripped away every ounce of self confidence and happiness I ever had, and thoughtless critiscism is like grinding salt into a raw nerve. But I've rebuilt and become stronger... and happier. One day I might finish my thesis. On the other hand I might not. I'm not ever going back to the black hell that was my life 18 months ago. Nothing is worth that. Now this is on my terms.

Whappen?

2006-02-22T20:45:00.000Z

and suddenly by accident I have interviews for 'real' jobs. 2 infact. I said I wouldn't be mercenary and do a geofiz job just for the money, but after talking to my dad I got to thinking... applying skills I already partially have, having my evenings and weekends free (wheh the thesis is written), being able to afford my own place... doesn't sound all bad does it?

I don't mean to brag but this is the email I got from one geofizz company:

Chris,

Quite the best email I have received in a long while. Shall we say we are keen and would like to get you up for an interview as soon as convenient to both parties.

It is Nick's old company though, so it doesn't exactly come highly reccomended! I quite like the 'Fine City' though.

My other interview is in Surrey. Not as cheap as Norfolk, but then they do have an office in Houston... Put the kettle on, Sam :)

Cairngorms Photos

2006-02-21T11:15:00.000Z

Left: Luckily I noticed the stowaway before I packed my sleeping bag.

Right: Ben and Laura smile bravely through a nasty case of arse frostbite

Left: I'm smiling because I had no idea that in a few minutes I'd be wearing 7 mountaineers as a belt. It's ok guys, internal organs are overrated.

Right: The Highland Games gets off to a cracking start

Left: Rich doesn't think much of Ben and Helen's new winter home

Right: Snow clouds over
the ski runs

Left: the descent

We all had a really good time. We managed to get to the hostel sucessfully, even with some creative navigating by some of us. On Saturday it was faff factor 10 as we failed to get up on time, set a new record for slowness in sandwich making and had to fight with other groups for mugs. We finally got on the hill to find some gorgeous fluffy snow to play in. High avelanch risk, but gorgeous and fluffy. Howard got us to pack the snow down more by sliding down it shouting weeee... I hadn't realised the course would be that much fun. We then learned how to use our axes to break in different positions, which cumulated in some free style hurtling down the hill, trying to avoid ripping ourselves open on the pointy bit of the axe. We also learned how to move on snow- downwards mostly in my case. On my arse. On the way back to the car park we tried out the crampons, and all set off down the hill walking like John Wayne. That night we had haggis and tatties and tried not to fall asleep face down in the food... winter walking is pretty tiring.

Sunday we made snow bollards... well, some people did while Cathy and I made a snow fish. Having realised it wouldn't hold an anorexic hamster, we spent some time decorating it with an eye and fins. Unsuprisingly, it failed. Our ice-axe anchor was a lot more sucessfuly. We also learned absailing and belaying techniques.

We spent sunday night sleeping in Glasgow ariport (even though I was getting a train. Go figure), with only colouring in and repacking to entertain us.

Everyone had an awesome time, and I have some cool pictures and squishy blisters as souvineers.

Tranmere

2006-02-15T12:11:00.000Z

I got paid fifteen quid, a free hot dog and a cup of tea to watch Tranmere last night. Maybe they should bribe more fans :). I also got to wear an orange jacket and shout at children.. all good fun :)

A job :o)

2006-02-07T15:33:00.000Z

Hurray, I have a job at last :o). Assuming my referees lie a bit and make me sound like a nice person, I will be starting as a part time care assistant in the very posh Caldy Manor nursing home soon. It could be the start of something great, or it could be something that I don't enjoy but at least it pays off some debts.. Who knows? What matters is, I am trying to get my life back on track and this is an excellent start.

..and, unlike the other home I had an interview in, it didn't smell of wee :o)

Update

2006-01-23T22:31:00.000Z

Is it healthy to spend around 6 hours a day reading god-awful tabloids while dressed in pyjama bottoms and a football shirt? Probably not. Dad pointed out I'm only a tightly scraped back hairdo secured by a scrunchy away from being a contender for 'Miss Birkenhead'.

So I haven't exactly had job offers pouring in, and even if I did I'm not sure what I really want out of this life. I haven't seen any of my friends, and I haven't done much thesis writing. My life is a series of badly written tabloid articles, web browsing and faffing interspersed with sport..

The sport is going ok though- I'm training for a 10k and I've just posted my application for the Anglesey marathon. I will decide on a charity to run for nearer the time. I think under the circumstances MIND might be appropriate, but I'm open to suggestions. I'm going to have a go at football (soccer to you americanised peeps- I'm not investing in a helmet and shoulderpads just yet) too.. all distractions are welcome :-). I need to do some climbing too, but I might wait until summer, brrr... can't Russia send it's unwanted wether somewhere else?

I'm happy, it's just my life seems pretty hollow right now. I will sort it out- get up at a sensible time, keep my mind focused on anything for more than 3 seconds at a time, get a job, get fit... It's funny, I have an idea for a novel that has a central theme of 'does what we do define who we are', and I was going to argue that no it doesn't, but I seem to be proving that it does.

Sorry, I'm rambling on now. Love to the few friends that read this, you are all very nice and important people xxx

Jetboil

2006-01-17T21:25:00.000Z

Should I be worried that my lovely boyfriend bought me a present that includes the phrase 'may explode' 7 times in the instructions?

I love my jetboil, but I'll freely admit I'm scared of it. Dad was brave enough to try it, even though we were using the wrong king of fuel- it's pretty tough to get hold of the right fuel here. Dad reasoned that if the canister fits on the stove it couldn't be TOO dangerous. Luckily, we didn't have to reflect on the irony of his words later- no explosion ensued...

Other stuff... hmm, well.. I was second choice for the USL job. As the enigmatic Roy Walker used to say 'it's good, but it's not right'. I'm currently looking for alternative employment.. stacking shelves, filing, polishing toilets or bum wiping.. we shall she what fate has instore for me this time (can't be worse than a geophysics phd can it?)

I'm also back in training, and actually enjoyed running the last few times I went. That can't be right, can it?

Belated happy new year...

2006-01-11T17:06:00.000Z

Left: A cold new year piccy taken by Andy.

Feliz nuevo ano! (Of course there should be a tilde over the 'n' in 'ano'- I'm not actually wishing you all a happy new anus....

We did the cheesy Times Square new year thing... Seven hours of standing in a cold, dull square watching a pot noodle gently steam, for 2 minutes of going 'wooo' as a disco ball slid down a flag pole. It's a funny old world. We weren't without entertainment- we did have a woman with the most amazing inflated lips to goggle at for a few hours. We did get to see Puddle of Mud, P.O.D. and OK Go, all of which made being forced to sit through a Mariah Carey song a little more bareable.

When I got back I had a job interview for a tech post at SOC. It went ok, but I'm not expecing to be offered the job. I should know this week, so they aren't keeping me in suspense for too long. I may have to start looking for a job here this week- debts to pay, usual story.

I managed to see friends, both in London and Southampton. Jac and I went and giggled through March of the Penguins.. It's visually stunning, but audiably atrocious. It's like a cross between Pingu and a depressing wildlife documentry. It's beautiful though- go and see it but take a walkman.

Christmas

2005-12-28T18:56:00.000Z

Left: Cooking a traditional Christmas dinner. Note tinsel on tent :-)

We had a really good Christmas in Utah. Nothing went to plan though. I'll talk about the bad things first, because apparently it is better to finish on a high (or a song, but that isn't really applicable in this case). We ended up setting off a day late because Andy was ill, then having to leave a day early because I was ill. On the way back, we had the now customary car failure, when one of the back tires blew out. We spent around 4 hours sitting at the side of the road, mainly due to the incompetnace of the people manning the emergency phone line - apparently being broken down in Utah but being closest to a city in Colerado is mind-numbingly confusing. Andy had to explain so may times where we were, I don't know how he kept his patience. At the very least he should have tried a range of silly voices for variety.

We couldn't ski or snowshoe because the snow was too thin, and we weren't very sucessful climbing, mostly because of me having a big girly wimp attack. I had my first lead fall, something I have been dreading for about two years. I was very frightened because I had made some bad decisions (which was an educational experience). The fear went away as soon as I fell off, since that removed any element of control I had over the situation. I did have a moment of relief then panic when my puny size one nut briefly cammed into the crack and stopped my fall momentarily, before pinging out. I was finally stopped by the rope coming tight on a bolt, and some first class belaying by Andy. I ended up rather ungracefully suspended in a spikey bush, with a few bruises and dented confidence. I didn't feel like leading anything else that day and we didn't get to go back as it was Christmas the next day. I am out of practise, but I'll get better and nail it next year :-)

Left: Delicate arch at sunset

So positive stuff... We had a good laugh, the Arches national park is beautiful, and barbecued turkey sausages make an excelent Christmas dinner. We also learend some lessons from our trip to Yellowstone, and managed to not freeze to death camping.

We opened some presents there, but we have just opened our presents from Andy's family, so we got to have a second Christmas day. Thanks if you read this, more personal thanks will be dispatched forwith (oops slipped into 19th centuary mode by mistake there).

Below left: Andy in Turret Arch, Arches NP. Below Right: Sunset at Delicate Arch #2

Oh... and Merry Christmas!

2005-12-18T22:22:00.000Z

We are probably going on holiday on Wednesday, so to anyone I don't speak to before then, have a good one :-)

Harry Potter and isn't that the guy out of only fools and horses?

2005-12-18T22:19:00.000Z

So the new Harry Potter film ticks a lot of boxes: it's exciting, funny, and someone taught Daniel Radcliff how to act... BUT I spent most of the time trying to work out which British sitcoms the supporting cast were from (Only fools and horses, Drop the dead donkey, Rising Damp, Auf Wiedesain (excuse the spelling) Pet)..did I miss any out? Very distracting.

Tips on cross country skiing

2005-12-17T04:56:00.000Z

Andy maintains some grace and style...

...while I give some tips on how not to do it:

#1) Relax

#2) Stay up right

#3) Most importantly, don't ski off the trail and bury yourelf in a big snowdrift
>

Nordic skiing..

2005-12-14T19:41:00.000Z

Skiing + downhill = normal
skiing + uphill = crazy norwegian idea

Nordic skiing rocks. On the flat, it feels like running on the moon; you push off like normal running, but then glide gracefully (well, some people do) forward. Downhill is fun because gravity is my friend. Uphil is a bit wierd though. Since when did trying to move slippery planks of wood against a gradient make any sense as an efficient mode of winter transport?

We went out with the uni ski team, and it was awesome. I spent quite a lot of time sliding down hills on my bottom screaming, and I still have no idea how to stop or turn, but it is really good fun.. apart from the uphill bits, obviously.

The friendly American...

2005-12-09T21:43:00.000Z

.. I found him! He was in the post office all along! I went to post my Christmas cards, and was frightened by this unfamiliar building, full of strange metal cabinets. It looked like no UK post office I'd ever seen- nothing was painted red, there were no queues of old ladies and doleites, and there wasn't that air of frustration and stale cigarettes. I was starting to go into fear overload, when the guy at the counter noticed me. He was kind and chatty, and helped me put stamps on my cards. Unlike the supermarket experiences, I didn't leave with a strong feeling of failure and annoyance, wondering why simple every day tasks are beyond me.. Instead I left feeling confident enough to try other new things, like buying presents and renting nordic skis.. is this sounding like a lipton ice tea commercial yet?

Leaving the house....

2005-12-08T22:38:00.000Z

I finally made myself put my running gear on and head out to the park. I did what I laughably called a 'warm up' jog (not sure my body temperature ever got above necrotic), then did 5 circuits of the 1 km track, alternating running and walking. I'm hoping to build up to 10, then reduce the amount of walking. It was crazy because the south side of the track was warm and pleasent, with a bright blue sky lighting the snowed in pond, which is pock marked with the feet of overly optemistic ducks.. The north side, though, was bitterly cold, with granular snow blasting its way across the tarmac. On every circuit, the sun would get a little lower and another layer of ice crystals would accrete on the colder sections of the path. I didn't like having the low sun behind me as it gave me a pear shapped shadow. The water in the cap of my bottle froze, blocking the spout. Walking was in some ways tougher than running- my lungs might not have been complaining but the rest of my body was missing the extra heat generated on the runs.

I had Andy's iPod for company, Kosheen to be precise- one of the few albums we can actually agree on. I feel a million times better for the exercise, so even if I pay for it later it was worth doing. I am bone chilled and stiff, and would like nothing better than a hot shower.. pitty Mr Mucous appears to have cut our water supply off. Nice of him to warn me huh?

No more miss grumpy boots...

2005-12-08T21:17:00.000Z

...I am trying, anyway. I'm going to go for a run and do some work, not spend the whole day reading/ asleep. I don't feel miserable, I just don't feel well. The glands are up in my throat, my head feels wooly and I have that horrible drained feeling. I feel like I just keep moaning on about my health, but it's hard to ignore it when it influences my life so much. I'll go see my GP when I get back to the UK.. but he will no doubt fail to find anything wrong with me and assume I am either crazy or a hypochondriac.. very frustrating. So I'm going to force myself to go for a run, do some work and think happy thoughts.. What else can I do?

:-(

2005-12-07T04:40:00.000Z

I'm pretty sad today. I've been applying for UK jobs, but I really want to be able to come back here to be with Andy. The US claims to be warm and welcoming, but I've drawn a blank trying to find a way to get a visa... legally, anyway. Apparently I can try inventing my own national security number, or go buy a green card from some guy called Rodriguez if I hang around by the Mexican border, but I don't really want to risk being held for an unspecified length of time under some dark and shady 'anti terror' laws. It's not like I want much, just the opportunity to get a short term, crappily paid job so I have a small amount of available cash and self esteem.

The other option is to get Andy back in the UK.... there are a few lectureships going here and there, but he doesn't seem overly keen...

So I'm back to the fundamental problem... no money, no job etc... What fun!

Bloody Tranmere...

2005-12-06T21:39:00.000Z

....they dominated most of the match but conceeded 2 late goals, one of which was a penalty. Deja vu anyone?

I want to go for a run. I couldn't go yesterday because there was that kind of evil wind that strips the skin of your extremities. I waited until today... The wind is still here and has been joined by a steady light but persistent snow. Damn. Should have gone yesterday; I might have lost an ear or two but at least I would feel a wee bit fitter.

Arrgggh!

2005-12-06T06:35:00.000Z

I've applied for maybe 10 jobs today, so I'm REALLY sick of this computer. In a last ditch attempt to cheer myself up, I looked for jokes on t'internet.

I think I've found the worst joke ever... not even bad in a punny, groan-making 'dad joke' kindof way... just bad:
__________________________________________________________________

Lightbulb joke

Q: How many cabbage patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The question is irrelevant since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many.

Note: Topical to 1983 and the difficulty of obtaining cabbage patch dolls

_________________________________________________________________________________
Topical to 1983?!! For god's sake!!!!

If anyone knows of any jokes lamer than this one let me know.. On second thoughts, don't. Please.

No Andy....

2005-12-04T19:44:00.000Z

he's at the AGU Fall meet in San Fransisco this week. Why is Autumn Fall, but winter isn't 'cold' and spring isn't called 'things go green now?'... it's a bit like a toddler pointing at things and naming them.. anyway slightly off topic. I miss Andy. He's only away for a week, but it's made me realise how short my time left here is. Soon I have to go back to England and the reality of no job, no money, no thesis and no idea of when I can live with, or even see, Andy again.

George Forman grill....

2005-12-03T22:43:00.000Z

...the 'fat reducing grill' my a&se. How can any device that gives you easy acess to bacon sandwiches be 'fat reducing'?

Question for Americans...

2005-12-03T06:44:00.000Z

...what is the correct response to the question 'hi, how're you today?'? I get asked everytime I go into a shop, but I have a sneaking suspision that the asker couldn't give a rat's toss how the askee is today, yesterday or tomorrow. I generally reply 'good thanks, how are you?', and rarely get an answer. Andy thinks non-commital grunting is the way forward, but I don't like to appear rude. What is the point in asking how someone is if you don't want to hear the answer? Just saying 'hi' would be fine, failing that (safeways cashiers take note) just not throwing my %&*£ing groceries at me like you are on Supermarket Sweep then complaining when I haven't bagged them one nanosecond after you have scanned them would be fine. Have a nice day y'all.

Suggestion for Americans: try curry, it's really nice.
Suggestion for American supermarkets: try stocking curry paste. See above.

Running...

2005-12-02T21:40:00.000Z

Funny how fickle fitness is (oo, nice alliteration!). I haven't been running much in Laramie, and I had a three week total layoff due to illness and laziness. I've started up again, but right now I'm struggling to do a mile or 2. I've gone from slow but determined long distance plodder to runner up in the zimmer frame race in a matter of months. I am planning a dramatic comeback though... health-dependant of course; why do I have to get ill so often *sulk*? I'm going to use my remaining time in Laramie to rebuild an ok base level of fitness. When I'm back in the UK I am going to start training for the blackpool 10k- I'll have a couple of months to try and improve my speed (PB so far is just under an hour, would be great to get that down to 50 mins). After that I start training for my 'holiday'- a 90 mile epic of running, camping and dirty socks :-). Assuming I survive that, I can either look for another half marathon to torture myself with, or try and nail a decent (sub 25 min) 5k... and of course there's the race for life this summer- not a great chance for a good time, but an excellent chance to have a laugh with 10000 women dressed at least partially in pink :-).

One other thing- to any runners out there: when I'm unfit/ it's very cold/ very dry I get yucky stickiness in the back of my throat. How does one sucessfully eject said stickiness without ending up looking like a snail has crawled all over one's running gear? ;-)

2005-12-02T02:05:00.000Z

Things to do (near) Denver when you're (not quite) dead..

#1: Build cars and race them. We used crayola model magic, which is the spongiest, bizarrest model mateial ever. Tough to work with but colourful!

Vroommm...! This is Andy's sporty creation

Black Hawk and coldness

2005-11-28T17:48:00.000Z

We went to Black Hawk on Friday as a post-thanksgiving trip. It's an old victorian mining town that has been converted to a casino town. It's nice, but there really isn't anything there except casinos and a church! They have 'strict' building regs to try and preserve the Victorian feel of the town.. but strict regs can be loosley applied- I saw an old building that had been completely trashed appart from it's facade, which was being held up by an impressive ammount of steel.
Andy played poker with his boss (he won $140) while I explored the town, amused myself on the vidio machines and drank as much free coke as I could :-). There were some scary people there, feeding token after token into slot machines like robots- it was just like an episode of the Simpsons where marge gets addicted to the slots. I don't see the appeal- they look really dull to play... but the machines are linked together and there is an ever
increasing 'progressive jackpot' of thousands of dollars that I guess they are chasing after.

We were going to stay near Denver and go out there the next day, but Andy wasn't feeling too great so we came home. We made it to Fort Collins instead- and didn't get a flat tire this time.. The road was swamped with blowing snow. The wind pulled the loose powder into the air and sent it drifting accross the road like steam rising from damp tarmac. Whole fields were drowned in snow, like heavy mist. It was eerie. We survived the road and went for Christmas presents and burritos in Fort Collins. Only in America would you drive 70 miles to go to a shopping center...

2005-11-25T03:24:00.000Z

How to keep a man in the kitchen...

Frigit = marble racing = fun :-)

2005-11-20T07:52:00.000Z

...the invaded..

... are not too happy about the situation :-(

2005-11-20T07:49:00.000Z

Yay global domination!

And I didn't even want to play the silly game in the first place :-)

2005-11-20T07:46:00.000Z

mmm.. festive

And here is another attempt to make the flat festive. I hope Andy can live without his helicopter for the season; the take off might be a bit precarious what with two xmas stockings attached to it's landing gear. This is what I did after I rested and got some strength back. I think the bows on the ipod dock are a nice touch :-)

2005-11-20T07:41:00.000Z

Ohhh talenbaum....

Yes I know it's too early..but we have a christmas tree, yay! It's actually more of a Christmas potted plant, but I've never had a real xmas tree before, and I've always thought that it's a shame to brutally murder a tree, drag it inside and leave it to die wearing tacky shiney pat bucher stylee earings... So this tree gets to look silly and (hopefully) survive the ordeal :-)

good n bad

2005-11-19T22:18:00.000Z

tranmere won :-)
we bought a potted pine tree to decorate for xmas :-)

i still feel crap :-{

Crunchy underfoot

2005-11-16T04:28:00.000Z

I finally left the house! I am feeling a little better, and I had the motivation of a spanish class to help me. The snow has subtly altered the light,so everything looks a little different. The moon was full and very bright, even though the sky still held onto a little blueness. It looked like it should have a howling wolf silhoetted against it. Everything was softened by the light. Even the butt- ugly methodist church shone with the moonlight reflected back up from the snow, like a foil umberella in a photographers studio softening a portrait. Crunching through fresh snow is such a pure, fun feeling, spolied only by the patches of unnoticed ice. I stomped, dragging my foot a little to stir up flurries of soft powder. It was sharp cold, and there was only my rediculously enourmous nike padded jacket to keep out the bighting teeth. I took a thermal mug filled with tea, which was almost cold by the time I got to the class. The class was ok, but my head was hurting and I found concentrating tough. It's not easy to get your head around grammer at the best of times. After thinking 'espero que mi novio es en la cochina ahora, prepare cena por nosotros' (apologies to anyone spanish who reads that!), I found that my wish had come true: mi novio was indeed in the kitchen making dinner...yum! But my head still hurts and I am going to play a little poker then sleep it of...

2005-11-15T22:56:00.000Z

Hurray somthing meaningful!

This is the nuts.. noone else in the world will care, but I think I can show that sea floor spreading at the Laxmi Ridge margin started around chron 29 in Gop Rift, then got bored and relocated south of the Ridge after the Deccan stop feeding it. Basically, offshore india isn't all oceanic crust, there are these stretched bits of continental crust, then a bit of oceanic crust from where the continental crust got stretched a bit too much and split. Futher south it split so bad that it made a proper ocean basin. I rock. Now I have to rewrite the above in dull geofizz language and stick it in my thesis :-(

Wyo ice hockey

2005-11-12T07:09:00.000Z

The cowboys won 5-1. It was very exciting, and a nice mix of grace, sport and ultra violence. We were leaning on the screens, and every now and again a couple of bodies would hurtle into them, causing the girls next to us to cheer. The PA played the kind of teen angst college rock that I should have grown out of by now but still love. I pointed out 'one step closer' by linking park as one of my favorites, causign Andy to sarcastically say'oh we should play that at our wedding'.. so now it's officially in writing and I'll remember that!

Oh, note to annoying, ill-informed, oppinionated college lecturer type sports fans. There's this thing called an internal monalouge. It's a really good place to store some of the stream of crap that goes through your brain. That way, you don't have to inssesently commentate on the game and splurge a constant stream of garbage out of your mouth. This can really help avoid pissing off all the people around you.