Wake up...

It took me half an hour of abuse to get out of bed. Self-abuse, but not the fun kind. I guess I'm sleeping a little better, but it doesn't seem to help; I'm still exhausted all the time. I went for a run, and the endorphines made me awake and smiley, but it wears off pretty quickly. I googled 'atypical depression', and it was a bit of a shock to see things that are normal to me listed as 'classical symptoms'. Its like finding out that parts of what defines you as a person are actually symtoms of an illness; an imbalance- actually its not LIKE that, it is that. Its a slightly deflating feeling. Its also partially comforting because it makes me think 'yeah some of the ways I react to situations are odd, and I'm working on changing that, but at least I know why I react that way.' I'm coping though, but I constantly feel like dunking my head in a sinkfull of cold water to break this horrible fog that has takne hold of my head and puffed up the skin under my eyes.