Insomnia

So what exactly is the point of insomnia? What possible benefit to humanity comes from lying awake at 4am with 7 seconds of a emenem album track that I don't particularly like endlessly looping around my head. I've been like this for almost two weeks, and all that has changed is that I've got progressivly tireder, iller and more grumpy, and sometimes the song loop switches to Jackson by Johnny Cash. This is even more annoying because I don't know the words, so my brain spends hours going 'we got married in a fever, meneh meneh meneh meneeer.' I wonder what the selection criteria for the tunes is?

Anyway yesterday I felt sufficiently sorry for myself to dig through the recycling bag for a copy of Cosmo that Beth had brought with her. I hate cosmo, but I'd already pretended to read Andy's Physics World and still craved something glossy to point my eyes at. I don't do girly, I don't do shopping, I don't do clothes and I don't do gossip, so I'm not really into Cosmo. Even the sex talk is recycled- you only need to read it once a year for a few years and you've read all the hints. How many times do we need to be informed that you can 'fill a condom with ice and freeze it for a sexy treat'? Right now I'd rather add fruit juice and eat the results.

I opened the mag at random three times, and got

1) Jazz hands- get your man to put vibrating penis rings on his fingers
2) Brown watery vaginal discharge
3) A celeb so skinny she looked like a centrurys dead thing wearing a badly fitting skin suit with a hideous puffball skirt over the top, who was described as 'effortlessly feminin'. She just looked f*cking hungry to me.

I ploughed on anyway. It was definately better than my previous reading (Airframe by Michael Crichton.. the first book I've read that was so bad I just read a few pages every now and again to have a vague idea of the plot and then skipped to the end. A bit like watching porn on fast-forward, so I'm told. Crichton thinks global warming is a silly lefty fantasy, but it's hard to condem the guy who gave us ER and Jurrasic Park).

I feel better for having a bit of a rant anyway. I'd write more but I have a flight to book and then there's the little matter of my final thesis chapter... maybe that explains why I'm not sleeping.