Abuse and music..

My body was recovering nicely from the champagne cork boob bruise and the marathon-induced scabs, so it was time to abuse it some more, this time with alcohol. I've drunk at least ten times what I would in a normal week in the last 5 days.. Appaling.

Some of those units were consumed with a nice curry and some where drunk while watching Sinnerboy, the superb Rory Gallagher tribute band. The guitarist is absolutely note perfect, but has a real passion and energy usually lacking in people playing covers- he plays it like it his own music, which I think is the biggest compliment he could pay to Rory. The rhythmn section are superb too- tight and lively. I was a little aprehensive- surely there can't be many Rory fans on the Wirral? Luckily I was wrong- there was a good crowd. Brian sat reading a magazine through most of the gig, but he was definately in a minority. We all got to hear our favorite Rory songs; dad was happy after an extended version of WALK ON HOT COALS (happy dad?). I was hoping to come home and find out we had won Euromillions and I could fly the band out for my wedding reception- dad pointed out that it would be a bit selfish to have a band playing music I like rather than something middle of the road, but sod 'em I say- if you can't be selfish on your wedding day, when can you? Unfortunately we are still poor, so it won't happen :(. I feel inspired to go home and get my guitar out... if only I didn't have so many damn thesis corrections.

Because one stressful life event isn't enough...

So on friday I became Dr Chris, then sunday I made it to Dr Chris the marathon runner... all in all a very strange week. The viva was stressful, but I felt reasonably in control for most of it, and it wasn't too bad. Afterwards, I was happy and relieved and felt this strange urge to work hard and write lots of scientific papers. That feeling evaporated pretty quickly- the last drops vanished yesterday when I got my corrections back- they are fairly nasty. I was hoping to have them done by Christmas but it doesn't look like it will be possible. I'm trying not to think about it right now, I'll make a decision when I'm back home. Southampton was a bit of a shock after Laramie; I've never had a screechy obnoxious southerner shoulder barge past me in small town america, but it was really, really nice to see some friends.

I had the perfect excuse not to get drunk after my viva- the Snowdonia marathon looming on sunday. I spent saturday on a train then dad drove me to Llanberis where we spent the night dossing in a car park in his camper van. I was nervous on sunday morning when I went to pick up my timing chip. This wasn't helped when the woman cheerily handed me a leaflet with 'Britains toughest marathon' written across the front. Something small inside me whimpered.

The marathon wasn't all that bad- the spectacular views definately helped take my mind of the pain of this crazy thing I was doing. I ran a steady 11 min/mile for the first half, but it got exponentially more difficult as I got tired, and all thoughts of breaking 5 hours went out of my head. The first 4 miles where uphill, and I managed to run most of it- it was satisfying to overtake some of the people who'd burned past me in the first mile when they were walking knackered up the first big hill- the altitude training definately helped! After that we had 9 miles of steady descent, which was very welcome. I was able to relax and look around and run for me rather than the clock. A very nice feeling. The traffic was a pain, and I had moments of intense pain and a few 'mini-walls', but I never seriously thought I wasn't going to make it. The support was brilliant- people in laybys, locals and passing cars were all very positive. Even the other runners took time to say well done and chat a bit. The worst bit was the descent into Llanberis- very steep and painful for sore joints. A woman in pink hurtled passed me wailing something about not being able to stop and vanished around the corner in a blur of lycra. I overtook a couple of lads who tried to chat me up in broad yorkshire accents. They lost interest when I warned them not to get downwind of me..

I finished after 5 hours 14 minutes and went to rest and drink tea with dad. I never had a serious moment of 'I can't finish this' or 'never again'... maybe I ran too slowly... maybe it was just the right thing for me to do at the time. I really enjoyed it.

yum

So apparently the security restrictions on flights have eased, so I can take travel sized toiletries, baby food and up to 4oz of personal lubricant on board should I wish to do so.

All liquids have to be tasted in front of a security person... should I drink the shampoo or ky jelly first?

Crazy yanks.

grump

I'm having a mini-grump because we were planning on going diving this weekend, but there is a snow storm between here and utah, making the I80 dangerous. I was really looking forward to getting my number of logged dives into double figures too.. AND the vis is up to a huge 4.5 feet. Would have been able to see more than just the end of my nose *sigh*

But for some reason Andy didn't want to camp in sub-zero temperatures. Coward :)

I could do with the distraction- I'm wound up about my viva, which is a week today. I have been revising like a good little doctoral candidate, but I keep finding errors. Mostly just typos, but there are at least 2 big problems that if I get made to fix them it could take a while.. sucks. So, I'm not sleeping well, but I can't concentrate either.

So what to do? Read my thesis? Go to work? Go for a run in the snow? Or hit the freezer and break out the Ben and Jerries... might as well embrace the coldness :)

floaty stuff

Andy and I went to the rec centre to test out some new gear. Between us (and borrowing a fair bit from joel) we just about manage to cobble together enough gear for one person. I tried out my new reg and computer. The reg is excellent, even if it is so tiny I'm convinced I might actually swallow it at some point. I like the computer apart from when it is going nuts and insisting I am full of nitrogen before I've even dipped a toe in the pool- basically it is confused by being at 7200 feet. Can't blame it, it still confuses me sometimes. Andy was flaunting his lovely transpac bc. I'd steal it, but it doesn't fit :-(.

Sorry this is a fairly dull post, but I am so excited by diving and the feeling of weightlessness and freedom it gives me that I just wanted to talk about it. Yes I am a big, excitable child.

LEFT: never hold your breath while diving. Never. Unless you are pulling tounges at your girlfriend and don't want those pesky bubbles to get in the way.



RIGHT: Andy and Klaus. This shot could be straight out of a PADI manual.. If it was horribly pixilated and both guys were wearing colour coordinated gear (I can't possibly dive with a nitrox tank, the yellow and green would clash with my blue wetsuit dahhling)











RIGHT: turn your monitor sideways and this picture will be the right way up..


RIGHT: arrgh!! the giant pale hairy legged monster claims another victim

Silent Trails

Yesterday I ran the Silent Trails 10 mile trail race, which is a yearly memorial run held to remember 8 Wyoming cross country runners who lost their lives because of a drunk driver 5 years ago. The race took place up at Happy Jack, and the views were spectacular. I can't think of a better memorial to the poor students.

I was a little nervous because even though I managed to shuffle a painful 18 miles on monday (with much walking), 10 miles is still a long way for me. I did my usual pre-race ritual of sorting my gear, eating porridge and trying to time my fluid intake for maximum hydration and minimum bladder complaints. I messed the last one up hugely. Literally a second after Perry, the race organiser, shouted 'go' and around 120 hardened trail runners and a few not so hardened panicers (ok, me) lept forward gracefully, I realised I had to pee. The first two miles were down hill, so every step jolted my poor bladder upwards. After 2 and a half miles I realised I simply couldn't ignore my body for the rest of the race, and slowed to a walk while I scouted out possible pee locations. Eventually, I ducked off the trail behind a tree. Thankfully, this is Laramie not Birkenead so there was no laughing and pointing from the other competitors.

I rejoined the race, and set off at a more modest pace because unfortunately I had run out of downhill bits to pelt down. All was well until the aid station at 4 miles. Then I set off walking again because I had been warned that there was no point trying to run up the hill that followed, unless I wanted to look like someone running on a treadmill (i.e. not actually getting anywhere). The hill is called 'death crotch'... says it all really, although Christine affectionately calls it 'the bitch'. It's a mile of evil switchbacks, and worst of all, a false summit, so just when you think 'horray I've survived' and start to run again, you hit yet more switchbacks.

Eventually, death crotch was heroically defeated and I managed to set off running again. Pacing was difficult with no mile markers, and I hadn't really thought about how much more difficult 10 miles on a trail strewn with rocks and tree roots would be than my usual road/ dirt path running. Sometimes I would see or hear no other runners for a few minutes, and I would wonder idlly if I had taken a wrong turn. Then a cough or heavy footfall would break the spell and I realised my laboured breathing was blocking out subtle sounds.

I grabbed a drink at the second aid station (6 miles) and finally caught up with a woman I'd been steadily gaining on for about 20 minutes. We had a quick breathless chat, then I got a second wind. After that I had three miles of perfect, peaceful running. There was noone in sight, the views were fantastic and I felt relaxed and strong. I wasn't running to complete a race anymore, I was running just for me.

I passed through a gate we had passed a 1/4 mile after the start of the race, which lead me to believe erroneously that I only had 1/4 mile left to run. So I started smiling and speeding up. Big mistake. There was actually another mile so I suffered quite a lot. I started to hallucinate adoring crowds cheering me on just around the corner, but every corner just revealed more trail, trees and rocks. I thought about the marathon I am running in a few weeks and how much more pain I'll be in near the finish then, and how great it will be because my dad will be there with hot tea. I thought about how bloody stupid running is sometimes.

Then I could see the finish and I felt a whole lot better. People cheered and clapped and I decided that running was good after all, and that runners are nice people. I recovered with some great food and stayed to clap for the few people who came after me (I was pretty near the back).

It was a superb race, everything a race should be with great organisation, friendly competators and a beautiful course. Several times since I moved here I've thought about quitting running because the altitude makes it so tough, but this race was enough to make me realise not quitting was absolutely the right decision.

In 2 weeks I'll be racing again, this time a hell of a lot futher. I know it's going to be tough but I think I'll survive.

Serenity in pea soup

Two major achievements in a week: my thesis is currently being bound (abandoned might be a better description than finished, but still...) and I am now a certified (but crap) scuba diver.

I'm not going to say much about the thesis; I don't feel relieved or proud I just feel kinda dazed now it is over. It has been such a big part of my life for so long, and I hated it, but now it seems wierd that I don't have to do it any more. At least I can start actually being useful around the house again, and my guitar can come out of it's case. I'm looking forward to that a lot. We are going out tonight so I think tomorrow will be G-day :).

We went to Seabase in Utah on the weekend to do the open water dives for our basic scuba certification. Andy and I got there around 6pm, and look in mild dismay into the green horror that was the 'inland ocean' we were to dive in. We managed to spot some small fish, but the water looked so awful we had very low expectations for diving. Luckily we were distracted by the crazy dogs that lived at the center and some quality all- American junk food.

The certification dives were an interesting experience.. basically, we could see f-all unless it was right infront of our masks. We would desend and wait in the gloom holding onto a guide rope until a hand appeard and gestured a skill to be demonstrated. Some times it was pretty hairy because it was hard to keep track of where Andy was, and I really didn't want to loose him. On the second day he was using his octo so I could just follow the yellow hose and I always knew where his face was. Ocassionally, a fin or torso would appear from the thick pea soup and slap me in the face or become entangled in my hair. I got adept at identifying people in my group by their hands because it was basically all I could see (small hand= lisa, wedding ring=joel, hand holding mine=probably andy). I lost so much crap too; I guess it's important to learn now that anything you take down needs to be securely attached or will soon vanish. If they ever dredge the bay they could make a small fortune selling on dropped gear.

The pictures belong to Andy... I didn't take any. But they give you an idea of how silly we looked and how bad the vis was :).

There is this really cool sunken metal box with windows that gives an air space so we swam into it to chat. Suddenly, a hand slapped onto the window and it was like something out of a horror film. Funny though.

After we were certified, 3 of us hung around to get another dive in. We moved to an area called White Rocks Bay, which we hadn't been allowed in when we were training. This is home to most of the big fish, including the nurse sharks. We hadn't really seen any fish, but we had been reliably informed that the big fish like romain lettice. I desended down a pole, and hung on with my knees. We were only in maybe 10 feet of water, and as my tank was emptying I was getting extra floaty, so I had to grip the pole to stay submerged. After a few seconds I felt a hard tug on the lettice I was holding, so I brought it up to my face. Suddenly, dozens of Scat and Angel fish emerged from the gloom and started pulling chunks off my lettice, and occasionally my fingers too. The looked so beautiful and graceful, I couldn't help laughing. I was floating on my back in a cloud of fish giggling, not caring about the water seeping into my mask along the laughter lines around my eyes. I managed to gently pet some of the scats and they felt strangely coarse and leathery, with delicate feather-like tails. It was truely amazing. As Joel pointed out, if we can enjoy diving in such bad conditions, I am going to really love it when we can actually see things!

Oh... and I was the most sluttily dressed at the wedding.. Just thought I'd point that out.

-------------------------------------------------

And now I'm not so serene: I just had this online chat with first interstate bank:

Brad: Please confirm your social security number, name and date of birth
Me: I just want to know what is going on with your website. Since you 'upgraded it, I can't actually pay any bills. Is it compatable with Mozilla Firefox?
Brad: Unfortunately, to protect your security, I need to confirm your identity before I can help you
Me: But I don't have a question about my account, I just want to know why the website doesn't work anymore. This seems overly secure for a simple question.
Brad: Take your time
Me: (grudgingly supplies details)
Brad: We are updating our records, can you confirm some details?
Me: Umm, ok
(this goes on for a while)
Brad: So what can I help you with today Ms Lane?
Me: As I said, I can't pay any bills online on your online billpay website. I just want to know why. Is it compatable with Firefox? I never had any problems in the past.
Brad: I apologise. Let me research that issue for you.
Me: Ok

***Browser crashes spectacularly***

If you listen carefully you might just hear me banging my head against my laptop.

Panic!!!!!

So thanks to Bresnan Cable for interupting the Simpsons with a sombre black screen saying CIVIL EMERGENCY ALERT ISSUED FOR ALBANY COUNTY, WY without any explination. I think my heart actually stopped for a second as my system was overloaded with images of Jihad terror raining down on poor little Laramie. And it made me miss a punchline. Bastards. The alert was followed by a cheery split second advert asking for books for schools or some such thing, like the world is going to end so you might as well be charitable and increase your chances of going to heaven. It reminded me of Dad's story about being in the car when the radio went dead. This was during the cold war, when any iminent nuclear strike would be announced initially by radio silence.
Poor sod, I can now imagine the terror that that loose wire must have caused..

I was so mad I almost shouted at a cable guy in the street today. But I'm polite and he was on the phone, it would have been rude to interupt.

Better news: I got a 'very good' on my intro chapter from Tim. I'm fully expecting a gold star or a smiley face next time. I can still remember the first gold star I got at school for my story about talking pinapples. What a great achievement.

Yet more running pictures... Sorry... this time from the half marathon. I'm so proud of my boy, looks a bit grey doesn't he?! :). I just look manic as usual, checking my time to make sure I got a PB... sad.

creeaakkkk... snap.... thump.

I survived my longest run to date: 14.5 miles of creaky, lopsided pain. I was hoping to get to 15 miles, but I actually thought both my knees might drop off if I carried on. It was dark by the time I finished, and I had a red salty square on my forehead from running by headlamp. I actually enjoyed the first 10 miles, but after that the miles seem to stretch on exponentially, with every step a real challenge. I was going so slowly that it took me almost 3 hours; I don't think Queen Paula is going to be shaking in her slightly urine stained trainers yet.

It was lovely being on the prarie above town. The sun was setting deep red over the hazy Snowies and flocks of birds kept darting out of the grass singing. Shame about the diggers and no trespassing signs. I hope the development holds off long enough for me to complete my training, somehow several hours of running up and down the streets of Laramie doesn't have the same appeal.

I could barely walk when I finished, and my breath was freezing in the air. I feel ok today, but I need to keep an eye on my knees, if that makes sense. I noticed something disturbing about my anotomy.. I think my lopsided running gait is making my breasts wonky. They don't warn you about THAT on runners world! They also don't warn you that putting too much crap in your pouch can cause energy gel sachets to explode and cover everything in peach flavoured jiszm (sorry parents). Nice.

Anyhoo, some of you will have had an email asking for sponsorship. Andy and I discussed asking for money 'for the crazies', but decided it was probably in bad taste :).

Anyone who feels like sponsoring me please go to

www.justgiving.com/chrislikesbiscuits

God, I'm really not sure I can run a marathon; the fatigue and constant cold is pretty bad right now... but I'll give it a bloody good go!!!

glug glug arrghh!..

I spent the weekend finishing my Introduction chapter for my thesis and learning important stuff about diving. Like how to pee in a wetsuit without anyone noticing and the meaning of some of Andy's more obscene underwater hand signals. I spent about half of my time underwater terified and half exhilerated. I think I'm going to really enjoy myself when there is more to see that the lower half of swimmers and a pool floor. Diving is pretty hard, I'd suddenly shoot up to the surface or smack down onto the pool bottom with only the excrutiating pain in my ears as any sort of warning. By the end I was floating serenly and motionlessly with my legs crossed, feeling quite smug until I suddenly shot up like a cork and breached like a whale. I must be extra floaty- I was wearing 18 pounds of weight by the end while some of the guys were only wearing 2. Maybe it's the breasts :). I forgot about the weight but I remembered pretty damn quickly when I took my BCD off and started to sink. Hence glug glug arrgh. We learn by the mistakes that don't totally drown us.

Some of the stuff we had to do was really horrible, like taking the masks off underwater or trying to breathe from a free flowing regulator (bubbles up the nose, water in the lungs and lots of coughing ensued). I also had the added fun of a leaky purge valve on my mask so I had a continuos slow trickle of water in my nostrils. I was a bit of a slow learner, and once I started freaking out it got harder, but I got the hang of everything. Not bad for a virtual non-swimmer I think :).

Oh yeah the thesis.. grumble grumble, corrections, uggh, fed up is all I have to say about that. We have our checkout dive for the openwater in about 3 weeks, if I can submit by then I can have a really good weekend :).

How to cure a cold...

..how about having bugger all sleep and running 13.1 miles? Actually, it worked out pretty well for me. I think I'm mostly ill because I'm run down and stressed about my thesis, so getting to forget about it for a whole weekend was great.

I ran the Georgetown to Idaho Springs half marathon with Andy. We drove a senic route there past Lookout mountain, giving me the opportunity to shout 'lookout! mountain!'.. I do this everytime we pass and will continue until either Andy laughs or hell freezes over.

I had one of those rare pleasures: a perfect race. Everything came together for me on the day, I ate right and ran strong. I thought I was on for a mild case of the Paulas, but everything settled down ok :). The course was undulating, but generaly undulated in a downward direction, so it was great. Our pace varied between a crazy 9.30 per mile (very fast for me, slow for normal people!) and just over 10 min miles. We ran the first half in 1:04. I was thinking about slowing down anyway when Andy started to feel ill. So, not only did I run a PB by about 7 minutes, but I also proved to myself that I'm not a horribly over competative selfish runner by walking with Andy when he needed it. I reasoned that I'd have other half marathons but only one fiance. I did leave him in the last half mile and, as advocated by some crazy shouty spectators, 'ran my buns off'. There were a lot of friendly spectators, and we were wearing our patriotic tops, which allowed all the Colorado brits to locate us. The atmosphere was great. Now if I can just shave about 40 mins off my time I might start winning :).

We went back to the motel and replaced the smell of damp dog that seemed to be eminating from the bedding with a smell of strong muscle rub. The hotel was a bit skanky, but at least the power was back on- the night before there had been an outage and the woman on the desk was working by torchlight. She wasn't too pleased that we couldn't pay our bill in advance, 'the boss normally likes payment in advance','yes but you have no power so can't process credit cards, 'yes, but he normally likes payment in advance'... jeez.

We discovered the motel jacuzii, and 15 minutes of having my swimming costume inflated by the air jets and my legs soothed was almost enough to make me forgive the damp dog smell. We did get shouted at as we left the spa because it was 'by appointment only'..maybe if they put up some signs to that effect or told people on check in it would help.

Sunday we had a gold panning lesson, which was a lot of fun. We now have 6 gold flakes between us, so paying for the wedding should be a breeze. We came back via Fort Collins to get measured for wetsuits and to pick up a photoframe. Andy also dragged me kicking and screaming into some clothes shops since we have a wedding to go to in a few weeks. God, I hate shopping with a passion: the continual looking at my bad hair and wobbly bits in the mirror; failing to fit into anything because I'm not 6 foot tall with a 20 inch waist. In the first shop I was helped by a very perky shop assistant. I found some clothes that were actually nice and cheap and went to try them on. After a few minutes a voice outside asked 'is everything ok?' I replied in tight angry voice, that yes, everything was fine, but what I actually ment was 'I'm stuck by the boobs in one of your stupidly complicated many strapped double layered tops and the panic is making me expand and get more stuck. Please f*ck off while I try and rip my way out.' The next item was a dress with crossover straps, that I had no clue how to get into. Andy came and helped me and together we managed to garotte me. I tried one nice funky dress on (Andy said he could see Jacqui wearing it, which I thought was a good sign) but it made me look like a hairy hippo so I left sad and humiliated. After a few more 'I look like the side of a house, waahh!' moments I finally managed to get a fairly nice halter neck dress and heeled shoes. It's a catholic wedding and I'm going in a 'bad munroe' style dress and heels I can't walk in. Lord help me.

Insomnia

So what exactly is the point of insomnia? What possible benefit to humanity comes from lying awake at 4am with 7 seconds of a emenem album track that I don't particularly like endlessly looping around my head. I've been like this for almost two weeks, and all that has changed is that I've got progressivly tireder, iller and more grumpy, and sometimes the song loop switches to Jackson by Johnny Cash. This is even more annoying because I don't know the words, so my brain spends hours going 'we got married in a fever, meneh meneh meneh meneeer.' I wonder what the selection criteria for the tunes is?

Anyway yesterday I felt sufficiently sorry for myself to dig through the recycling bag for a copy of Cosmo that Beth had brought with her. I hate cosmo, but I'd already pretended to read Andy's Physics World and still craved something glossy to point my eyes at. I don't do girly, I don't do shopping, I don't do clothes and I don't do gossip, so I'm not really into Cosmo. Even the sex talk is recycled- you only need to read it once a year for a few years and you've read all the hints. How many times do we need to be informed that you can 'fill a condom with ice and freeze it for a sexy treat'? Right now I'd rather add fruit juice and eat the results.

I opened the mag at random three times, and got

1) Jazz hands- get your man to put vibrating penis rings on his fingers
2) Brown watery vaginal discharge
3) A celeb so skinny she looked like a centrurys dead thing wearing a badly fitting skin suit with a hideous puffball skirt over the top, who was described as 'effortlessly feminin'. She just looked f*cking hungry to me.

I ploughed on anyway. It was definately better than my previous reading (Airframe by Michael Crichton.. the first book I've read that was so bad I just read a few pages every now and again to have a vague idea of the plot and then skipped to the end. A bit like watching porn on fast-forward, so I'm told. Crichton thinks global warming is a silly lefty fantasy, but it's hard to condem the guy who gave us ER and Jurrasic Park).

I feel better for having a bit of a rant anyway. I'd write more but I have a flight to book and then there's the little matter of my final thesis chapter... maybe that explains why I'm not sleeping.

Weddings, evil vegetarians and groaning

I know it's far too beautiful for a she-male like me, but I just ordered this weding dress. I'm so excited I keep grinning and clapping like a retarded seal. The experience wasn't as traumatic as I thought it's be, once the assistant had pried off my baggy shorts and T-shirt combo it all went quite smoothly. She brought me some rediculous underware that took several minutes of sustained effort to squeeze me into and left me looking like a burlesque dancer from moulin rouge. I was concerned the underskirt and corest combo was actually the gown, and she had me down for a slutty wedding, so I was vaguly relieved when she brought me several acres of chiffon and beading to go over the top. It's probably going to be a summer wedding and I'm wearing more fabric than the UN ship out for tempory shelters after an earthquake. I might have to go all roman and employ a legion of small boys to continually fan me during the wedding. I tried on 5 gowns before buying the first one, which was the one I'd gone with the intention of buying anyway. This is obscenely girly by my standards, but it was the nicest, Andy and Beth agreed. I did like one of the others purely because it gave me a Manga-style exagerated waistline, but that seemed like a vain reason to pick a gown. I'm totally in love with the one I have picked. If we get married here, we'll have a party in the UK too so I get to wear it twice, yay!! All I have to do now is figure out how to corner with a train attatched, or plan a route to the chapel that involves only ever walking in straight lines.

Of course, we haven't made any plans, set a date, or even decided which country to do this in, so I might end up a Miss Haversham style man-hater gently rotting in my lovely gown.




Left: Andy and Beth seem strangely excited by their pumping efforts

The next day we went into the Snowies, partly just for the hell of it and partly to look for potential wedding venues. We found a few nice lakes and wooded areas, but there was genrally something wrong; the lake might be popular with anglers, or the woods might be crawling with ants. Then we found a chapel that was just perfect. I am excited to be marrying Andy because I love him and want to spend my life with him, so I'd marry him anywhere, but if we could do it here it would be absolutely amazing. The views are breathtaking, with mountains on two sides, and a lake a short walk away. The fields are studded with wild flowers. It's a fair drive out of Laramie, it's icey in winter and spring and hot in summer and it'd probably rain, but I'm just completely captivated by the place. There's also a cabin nearby where we could decamp for food after the ceremony, but I'm getting way ahead of myself now. The chapel is owned by a local diocese, so there is a chance we wouldn't be allowed to have a non-religious ceromony there, but we'll see.

Left: views around the chapel

We came out the other side of the Snowies in Sarotoga, a dissapointingly uninspiring place. It does have hot springs though, which interested me on one level as a geologist, and on a much more important level as a runner with achy legs that needed a good soak.

Left: soaking in the disconcetingly warm stream.

I was having flash backs to being in a swimming pool as a child when you get a warm patch and know there can't be any good reason for it being warm.

After Sarotoga, we headed back to Laramie. It was Beth's last night so went went for a meal at Sweet Melissa's, Laramie's only vegetarian restaurant. The food was great, but I think they might have heard me and Andy winding Beth up for her sentimentality over animals (she isn't vegetarian), so they decided to get revenge on us. We were both ill when we got back. I felt like someone was stabbing hot knives in my stomache. I had a moment of relief when the pain ended, which was quickly replaced with humiliation when the noisier, messier phase of the illness started. Andy was ill too, but always manages to make less of a fuss than me. We ended up waddling around walmart at midnight searching for imodium, groaning at the sight of the 'restrooms unavailable, sorry' sign. Quite literally a crappy end to a nice few days, but we are better now.

Rocky Mountain national park

Despite Andy looking like a glam rock hamster (swollen face, purple and green eyes- the results of a broken nose due to impact with a softball), we went away as planned. We didn't manage to introduce Beth to the joys of camping because he didn't feel up to driving all the way to the national park on the first day so we stayed in a motel in Fort Collins. We got to Rocky Mountain the next day, and it's absolutely stunning. We drove the highest paved road in America (12000 ft), saw elk and a golden eagle and generally enjoyed not thinking about scary things like vivas.

The next day we made it into Denver. I don't really like big cities, but the main shopping street was pretty quiet. Maybe American's don't do the whole hang out in town on saturday thing. Cow Parade is there, I'm sure the Prague cows were better but maybe I'm biased. We did see some cool ones, including a zebera in a cow costume. One day I might be at a cow parade and not feel the urge to pet all the cows. We spent a long time in Denver aquarium. It's a really nice place, and they thoughtfully keep the tanks really clean so it's easy to take pictures through the glass. I'm really pleased with some of the pictures. I might not be the next Dr. Mustard, but at least I kept my feet dry.

Left: posing chipmunk










Left: jellies, I love this pic! Technically crap but very cool

Below: nemo fish! nemo fish!

Laramie Rodeo

Life is good: the rodeo is in town, I've finished my wide-angle chapter and my eyebrow has finally started growing back.

We saw a very cool band on sat night, but it made me sad because I'm still writing up so I still don't have time to play my guitar much.

Beth is here so we are going to take her to the Rockies for a few days and try and convince her that the great outdoors is much more fun than shopping.



Left: Miss Laramie and her lady in waiting (who, incidentilly, might be pretty and graceful but rides a horse like a tightly tied on sack of sh*t). Only in Laramie could a woman think a tiara over a cowboy hat was a good look.

Right: Horse riding western style: take off the saddle, poke the horse with spoons until it's really pissed off and try to hang on.

Bottom: yes, that is a small boy riding a sheep. I'm not sure what I can say about that really. Life's an experience, innit?

HRCA sunset 10k

here are the photos from the 10k as promised. They are screen grabs from the official photographers' website... but if you are worried about this blatant infringment of copy right you'll be pleased to know I have ordered some prints from him

gawd bless 'merica

So it was the 4th of July and time to celebrate indipendance from George W. Well, I celebrate Christmas and I don't believe a guy with a grey beard made the earth in 7 days, so why not? We headed out of Laramie and managed to avoid any overt patriotism- just a few stars and stripes bandannas (on bikers riding machines that aren't road legal- Wyo has a state law that says bike handle bars must be lower than the riders shoulders. I wonder what the police do if the pull any of the offending chopper riders' over- attempt to surgically raise there shoulders?). We did hear one 'God bless America', but I'll come back to that.

We went up to the expensive stepford wives-ville of Highlands Ranch, CO. This is still under construction, we particularly liked the gate posts labelled 'town center' that made up an impressive enterance to a completely empty field. We were there to attempt another 10k. It was called the 'sunset 10k', so I foolishly believed it would occur during a cool part of the day. Unfortunately they moved the start time to 5.30 and I was soon wilting in the 29 degree heat. The chaffage from my horrible new running shorts was really painful too, I did breifly consider running half the race naked from the waist down. I'm still walking like John Wayne. I also naively believed the race would be 10k, but it was actually 10.5. I put in a very poor performace, and actually thought I was heading for my first DNF. Andy had other ideas, and bullied me around in a Personal Worst of an hour and 16 minutes, including lots of walking/ staggering. I finally cheered up in the last 800m, and raced Andy for the finish, causing the commentator to talk about 'the spirit of healthy competition'. Andy let me win because he is nice. I'm way more competative than him when it comes down to it. Maybe I'm just more insecure.

Despite an appaling time and being overtaken by all the ususal race rear enders (people with assorted pets, children and strange limps), Andy won 3rd place for our age group. Oh how we laughed (ok I admit I'm jelous of his medal). It was funny, we'd overtake the same collection of stragglers (man about to have a coranory, woman with sweaty bum, 80's cool dude and his woman), then I'd have to walk and they'd over take us. I'd then start up again and we'd whizz past them again. It was like being in a cheap Hanna Barbera cartoon.

I think we might be on some photos, if I can work out which company took them I'll try and get copies and post them here.

During the post-race awards, there was a fly-past of some military jets. The commentator said 'I'm glad they're on our side; God bless America!'... you try keeping a straight face when confronted with this!! Andy thinks he was being sarcastic but I'm not so sure. Not only was it a horribly, gushingly patriotic thing to say, since when did being on the same side as the American air force stop them shooting at you?

When we finished we went onto the village green to watch a crazy but cool mowtown showband in very dazzling red sparkly jackets. Cool, but probably too expensive to hire for the wedding :(. I never thought I'd see people line dancing to 'Soul Man', but now I have. It was like gatecrashing a family wedding. We relaxed and shivered as a front came over and the sky got darker and darker. The rain came, so we didn't get to see any fireworks, but we did see a lot on the way back.

Despite my PW, it was a good day, and it hasn't TOTALLY put me off trying to do a marathon. Andy got a medal for his trouble, I think he deserves one for putting up with me- he is being my third parent now, I never have to go too long without a hot meal, cup of tea or clean pair of pants. How do people write theses without someone like him to look after them? I'd have given up by now I think.

Oh and work still sucks. But they are paying me and I'm skiving off lots (i.e. writing my thesis, which is going suprisingly well)

Happy indipendance/ freedom from tyranny and opression day :-p


xxC

Devils Tower

Well I'm having a dull weekend wrting my thesis and recovering from a cold, so I thought I'd tell you about last weekend. I've always thought it was appropriate that Wyoming's colours are brown and yellow, since those are the dominante coulours of the landscape. In an attempt to prove me wrong, Andy took me to northern Wyoming, where it's actually green and nice. We were camping in temperatures that would actually register on a thermometer, so it was a big improvement over Christmas in Utah. We relaxed and read books and ate yummy camp food with an excellent view of the badly punctuated but impressive Devils Tower. It's a volcanic plug, and looks like a tall narrow verion of the Giant's Causway. We did a little bit of walking, and played football and frisbee (Andy has found one I can throw; amazing). It was nice to just relax and not worry about my thesis for a few days.


Below: Images of Devils Tower


















Right: The tower reflected. Sorry, I have a thing for photos of reflected images














Left: Noisy, stupid and very cute.. Prarie dog allegedly guarding his colony while being completely oblivious to me creeping up on him. I got within a foot of hime before he visibly bottled it, screeched and dissapeared down his hole.




We came back via South Dakota and these funny big head rock things. Mount Rushmore I think. They are an impressive feat of engineering, but the novelty of looking at them wears off quickly. You can extend it by debatingwhich cartoon featured a character emerging from one of the giant rocky nostrils. Sadly, they aren't hollow so it's not that likely to happen. Anyway it's funny watching Americans trying to be patriotic and think of things to say other than 'wow'. They are impressive, but I think Lincoln looks quite a lot like Robocop. Maybe that's just me.

Left: Robolincoln is shunned by the other trolls

Below: Fear me, my nostrils could engulf you

advice?..

Well I finally made a little progress, no thanks to tec support. It's taken me two weeks, but having tried everything short of turning my computer upside down and trying to run the migration sideways, I've finally made a *small* amount of progress. It got me thinking about how much time I'd wasted this week.. So here are some ways to waste time while still looking busy:

1) When you leave your desk, always walk briskly and carry at least one sheet of office paper or several post it notes.
2) When web browsing make sure you can switch to a work related site (Paradigm help desk in my case) at a moment's notice. This is where tabbed browsing really comes into its own.
3) Occasionally push back from your desk, sigh expansivly and run your hands through your hair. This is most dramatic and noisy if there are no wheels on your chair
4) Hunch intently over your keyboard. You may be risking RSI, but it does have the twin benefits of making you look deeply interested in your work while hiding the poker website you are actually looking at
5) frequently look at your watch and mutter paniced expletives
6) Photocopy everything. Absolutely everything. When you run out of things to photocopy, do it all again. This makes you look productive and also lets you get intimately aquainted with all the tuneful squeeks and rattles of your particular copier. I now speak the language of the geofiz copier, and can distinguish 'last sheet gone through' from 'paper jam' from 20 yards.
7) Pile a blank ream of paper in your intray, cleverly overlain with a page of such hard core intellectuallism that noone will examine it too closely
8) 'Work' through lunch. Even if you are looking at guitars/ running shoes/ ukuleles/ tranmere rovers continued search for a manger/ friend's blogs* online (*replace with personal interests), it makes you look extra dedicated, so when you leap up, look at your watch and shout 'DAMN' at 3.30pm and leave in a hurry, people will assume you are late for a very important meeting rather than sloping off home early,
9) Hire a PA. Not tried this myself, but it's bound to make you look importnant.
10) Update your CV. This makes you seem career focused and on the ball, and has the added benifit of helping you get the %&@# out of the job that is making you go to all this effort to waste time in the first place.

Yawn....

It's hot here. Really hot. Laramie only does 2 seasons: freeze off your appendages quickly or gradually cook them off in layers. At least that is a good thing about my job- I have a nice cool lab to work in. The job isn't going so great mainly because I'm trying to use some software that apparently only people in Israel know how to use. I didn't make that up, that's what tec support finally admitted after two weeks of unhelpfulness. So, since I don't want to apply for Isralie citizenship, I have to sit in my air conditioned lab moaning and getting better aquainted with my iTunes library. But at least I'm working insde, unlike the guy on our street who is renovating his house. He is currently leavering planks of wood off his house, which is confusing me because surely since the house is made of wood he'll eventually run out of planks to leaver off and be left standing in a rather large pile of dry kindling?

I'm writing my thesis in pretty much any free moments. I managed to escape occasionally to train for some ill-advised races I've signed up for or, even rarer, to play my poor neglected guitar. It's summer, I should be out exploring with Andy not sat at home pondering the extensional geometry of small ocean basins. Unfortunately, I've got to the point of having done enough work to not want my efforts to go to waste, but not enough to actually submit the bloody thing. If it wasn't for Andy I'd not have had any cooked food or clean pants for quite some time now. If he ever leaves me I'll be skanky and hungry within days.

I've just had 2 days of induction as a new employee, which mostly involved filling out forms and listening to presentations of various shades of dull. The most entertaining for me was the IT specialist who was unable to advance a slide in her Powerpoint presentation. You can stop throwing things like VPN and DSL into the talk now love, you have no credibility. The first challenge was getting there, it was like being in an Indiana Jones film. First hazard are the car drivers, who are courteous to a fault. If you even think about crossing the road they will pull up, even in the middle of a busy road, leaving you unsure if they have stopped for you or the cars waiting to pull out, and the drivers behind them wondering if they should overtake this odd guy who has stopped for no apparent reason. So they are courteous but lacking in common sense. Next hazard are the sprinklers. The uni ones are particularly lethal; they start without warning and suddenly increse power or change direction. One set were programmed to soak the pavement in a carefully correographed sequence, so to get past them relatively dry involved splitsecond timing, like some unfortunate about to be soggy sprite in a platform adventure game. And don't get me started on the dogs. Why does every bugger here own big noisy dogs that are free to roam and scare sensitive types like me? One even tried to heard me by nipping the back of my leg. Ok so no of this is on par with being chased by rolling boulders or thrusting spikes, but I do find humming the Raiders of the Lost Arc helps me get through. On the plus side, now I've done all the paperwork, at least if my morning walk in becomes so fraught with danger I get hurt, I am now insured to be put back together again.

Anyway, why is this post called yawn? Well, I'm doing that rather annoying thing of feeling ill and tired all the time. It means I'm basically either asleep, working, or writing my thesis without the energy to do much else. Although I obviously have sufficient time and energy to write this madness, so maybe I can't complain too much. xxx

Another bb pic

Not a great quality picture because I screen grabbed it from a website... but I thought it was pretty cool. You can tell it is near the start of the race :). It's a real shame Andy was chopped off.

WTF?!

I appear to have developed eyebrow alopecia. I had to give myself a tiny combover this morning. I'm sure it's stress related rather than due to overzelous plucking.

I hope it grows back or I'll be one of those scary old bloated women with red lips and pencilled on facial hair :(

BolderBoulder

Left: anxiously waiting...

Well the lower altitude ment that I didn't get the 'breathing through a damp sock while having my lungs squeezed' feeling, but I still found it really tough. Andy helped a lot and encouraged me to a PB of 59'33", which is a good minute and a half faster than I managed in training last week. Bolder is a nice town and the course was interesting. There were lots of bands to keep us entertained, including some really bad cheezy guitar groups yelling a lot. The race was really well organised with the start staggered into waves to avoid the chaos of 50,000 people trying to get near the front. Great for us but not so good for the poor trumpeter who had to play a salute every 3 minutes. We didn't managed to start in the same wave as Christine and Angel, but they didn't take too long to overtake us. I wanted to give up near the end, which is a shame because I was too knackered to appreciate the novelty of a stadium finish.

After unsucessfully looking for our friends, we grabbed as much free food as possible and went back to the hotel to shower. After looking forward to it for miles, I couldn't face drinking my free cold can of generic larger, I was just too queezy. Maybe I would have appreciated the novelty of puking in front of a stadium full of people, but thankfully the race finished and I managed to keep my digestive tract sealed.

Left: Andy flying the flag for Norwich infront of the stadium finish. Interestingly, his official time was 1s slower than mine, even though he dragged me around the last 2k. hehehe

When we got back, the event was on TV. We picked a good time to escape- lots of scary memorial day type gushing patriotism was happening, including the playing of that god-aweful 'god bless the USA' song from a year or two ago. Truly cringeworthy. I'm all for showing support for the poor sods who have to get shot at in Iraq every day, but I don't really go for over zelous saccrine patriotism.. It was quite funny though. We watched the start of the women's race from the hotel, then went out to watch the end. The look of pain on some of their faces was crazy- I knew I was right, running ISN'T fun!! I haven't been so close to a professional race before- luckily I managed to remember to lean back away from the barrier with my camera as the lead pack thundered past (if skinny women can thunder).

After it was all over we managed to find our friends and go for the obligatory post race post mortem in the cheesecake factory. It was a well organised event, a nice course and a good place to hang out afterwards. Isn't that what it'll all about?!

Right: Our fan club cheered us on. Oh, alright, they were actually watching the GB professional men's team.

Sun and stuff

It could almost be summer: it's toasty warm and people are out mowing their lawns. You can tell the ones that own sprinklers because their homes are surrounded by a lush swathe of verdant green, rather that the dusty mottled brown stuff that normally passes for grass here. We have tomatoe plants and we are going to plant sunflowers soon.

I ran 10k yesterday, and I'm very proud of it. Having Alice in Wonderland to listen to helped take my mind of it.. unfortunatley, I tucked my mp3 player into my sports bra to stop it bouncing, and the display is now sloshing with what looks disturbingly like cleavage sweat. Hopefully it'll dry out. I kept running past this cute family, and after about the fifth lap they moved their daughter on her little stabalised bike over to let me past. Unfortunatly, they moved her over a bit too far and her wheels hit the grass. All I heard as I ran past was THUMP WAHHHHHHH!!! Should I feel guilty?

Andy is playing softball and seems to not be sucking at it too badly. It's cool to see him really enjoy something.

The guitar playing is going well, but I really must stop picking at my finger calouses. It's counter-productive.

Anyway I'm in work and the boss is here, so I better look busy :)

Another weekend...

I managed to get a few corrections done this weekend. I'm in the process of trying to resucsitate a truly awful chapter. The patient is doing quite well, and I think I might be able to save it... it's just a question of time now, i.e. I don't have any. I'm pretty stressed- I have to submit by 30th of Sept and every time I think about it I feel like I'm watching one of those big millenium countdown clocks with a sense of impending doom... It's a bit late for millenium analogies, but then I always say I think up the good jokes too late.

I escaped from the corrections on sat night and had a very nice meal with Andy, Christine, Angel and Gustavo. Andy and I went on to the Cowboy afterwards because there was a band on that I wanted to see. Well, I've never been to the Cowboy before and I was in fits of giggles because it lived up to its name. It's very much like the redneck bar in the Blues Brothers film, thankfully without the chickenwire around the stage. There was a plethora of people in denim, plaid shirts and cowboy hats in what is basically a barn with a stage. Unfortunatly they have taken the mechanical bull out for the summer. I never thought I'd live to see people spontaneously line dancing. There was a good atmosphere and lots of people watching fodder. My favorites were an old couple dancing to their own internal rhythm. The guy in particular looked like a partly shaven suntanned silverback gorilla. At least they didn't look like they were fighting on the dancefloor- country dancing is vicious!

Today was sunday, so it was time for another disasterous run. We drove up to Vedewoo for a change of scenery. That's us there on the left, the impressive Turtle Rock granite formation behind us. We are wearing very cool running tops from foska.com, which we bought with some money that Andy's parents gave us, so thanks Meri and David! Anyway, we set off over the trails, leaping over boulders and tree routes and generally having what runners would masochistically call 'fun'. This lasted for about 10 minutes until I felt like someone had reached a hand inside my chest and was squezing my lungs. We carried on, but I had to stop and walk up every slight incline and wheeze and hack at the top like an asthmatic old codger. I wasn't sure if it was the extra few hundred meters of altitude, the undulations of the path or just plain crapness, but it was very frustrating. I felt bad for Andy too because he was having to run painfully slowly and stop all the time because he didn't want to abandon me. Eventually we completed the loop, and I went for a walk while Andy ran the loop again to try and get some real exercise. I must admit, when he came back 30 mins later saying he'd had to walk most of it because he too had been wheezing like an asthmatic old codger I felt a bit relieved.

Anyway, I'm shattered. guitar then bed I think. Night night xxx

mmm... flaky

I look like a rattlesnake today, I appear to be sheading all the sking from my shoulders and it's bloody painful. You wouldn't think that an hour in the spring sun could sand all the skin from your body, but apparently it can in Wyo. That'll learn me.

I got horribly burned last sunday on an entirely unsucessful long run. Well, it was sucessful for Andy- he managed 10k, but I managed about 4. We are running in the Boulderboulder a week on sunday and my only two hopes are
1) it's at lower altitude so I might not feel like I'm trying to breathe through a warm sock and
2) 50000 people take part so it's likely to be so conjested I have to crawl all the way. Fine by me.

I ran 3k at a decent pace this morning... so only ~37 to go then I will have done a marathon!

My new toy

This is me with my lovely new Fender CD60. It was a bargain and it's a really nice guitar- playable, a good tone, new guitar smell :). It's chinese made from laminate wood, but you can't expect too much for $160 can you? I've been learning to finger pick, and Andy must be sick of hearing me playing the same simple 12 bar piece over and over again, but he is very patient. I've nearly got the hang of it, which is good because I've shreaded my fingertips! I'm going to take a class next month with Beth, the girl that sits next to me in the lab. I'm hoping to have learned all the major, minor and seventh chords by then as well as nailing the blues tune and one song... actually, that's a high standard, I'd settle for just being able to play without my fingers falling off.

Back in Laramie

I'm in Laramie, and this time you can actually go outside without appendages freezing off: it must be spring. I am adjusting reasonably well- I'm managing to get up in the mornings, but I am getting very tired at the end of the working day. Not that I'm working amazingly hard at the moment- I have all the ususal new job issues of paperwork and trying to get computers to work. I'm going to be working initially on sorting out a dataset that appears to have been randomly distributed across a large number of computers following no pattern and with no documentation. To say it's disorganised would be something of an understatement. Ah well, I'm being paid so I'll grin and bear it. I have a US bank now, but I have to go to the state capital Chyenne to order a social security number so I can offically 'exist' in the system here. Everything is fine; there was no culture shock this time but two things are perplexing me: why can you only buy toothbrushes with enourmous heads, and who would think an 8 foot varnished bear was a good garden ornament? The trip out was a little traumatic- 3 flights and then a minor hitch at immigration when my paperwork was a tiny bit iffy. All sorted now, amd Andy is making turkry burgers tonight, mm!

Ricky Gervais does the Simpsons

Well there's 20 minutes of my life I won't get back. As David Brent might say, Ricky Gevais is overrated. Fact.

50th...

Some pics from my parents' 50th birthdays ...... Not bad for 50, are they?!



Left: me and dad... I'd never need a paternity test, would I?!










Below: Mum and shrek. Wierd, huh? Below: mum and dad



I am leaving for Laramie a week today to live with my lovely future husband :). I am at the stage of having to 'put my affairs in order', or is that just what people do before they die? Must check. I have lots of things to sort out, but at least it is stopping me from worrying about my new job. Not that the job I'm leaving is an old job- I've only been there 2 months and I'll be sorry to leave. I have got passed the stage of floating around in a kindly cloud of benevolance- it's hard to be kindly and benevolent when you have a four foot wizend bag of evil screaming abuse and waving a walking stick in your face. Like all carers eventually do, I've evolved a set of coping stratagies:
1) bad taste jokes at the expense of, but out of earshot of, the offending resident
2) a thick skin (I know I'm not terrible and stupid, so I don't really worry if said four foot wizened bag thinks I am)
3) knowing when to walk away and get help (we are only human)
4) Finding humor in the situation... 2 examples:
-Me: Would you like some gravy on your dinner
Bag: Yes
(pour gravy)
Bag:Urrghh... not THAT sort of gravy, take it away!!
Me: Oh I'm sorry , I didn't realise you wanted the OTHER sort of gravy.

-Today, we stood a lady up to pull up clean pants and trousers 3 times, every time she started peeing and we had to sit her down and change her pants. The last time, the pee was a raging torrent that soaked her, her knickers, clean trousers and her slippers. What can you do, other than giggle and get a flannel, and try and hold on to your sanity?

Well, I love it anyway. It's a shame to leave, but I can't have everything my own way.

I've been poorley again, just a cold and exhausted all the time. The exhaustion remains, but doesn't it always? I can't remember the last time I felt properly alive and energetic. I feel better when I'm running, but getting my kit on and getting out of the door is a real challenge. I hate feeling like this, but I'm making the best of it.

That's it for now, see y'all in Laramie (save a horse, ride a cowboy!)