Making Holes

I think the tempory relief and calm that came with making the decision to leave has worn off; reality has come flooding back. I'm pretty down about my situation again. I was also thinking about Andy too. I just keep wishing he'd taken the job he was offered in Germany. It was doing the same stuff he is going to do in America, with a really cool boss, but in a slightly dull town and less vibrant department. When he got offered it, I was so happy. I thought he would take it as a compromise, and I could see him every few weeks. But he didn't: his career is important to him, so he took the better position that is the other side of the world. People keep saying things about the way Andy is with me, and even he said he was taking me for granted. I thought I was over all this, but everything keeps cycling around in my mind.

It was our last cricket match of the season, and I let the side down with some appauling fielding. I did partially redeem myself with a sliding stop at the boudary, which has left me with an impressive grass streak down my white trousers, and a mild limp. We went for 'a quick drink' afterwards. I ended up in town with Pete and Ian. We stayed in the Alex for a while, and I paced myself- no Stella tonight :). It got to last orders, and Pete got a bottle of wine and we went back to his, where he played some viynl and we disected the match in comfy chairs. Hannah, who works in the library with Pete, texted him to ask him to come to the Dungeon (no prizes for guessing what kind of music they play there). Hannah is gorgeous, and has 20-odd piercings and waist-length dreds, so she looks a little out of place behind the help desk in the library. So we went out again, and met up with Ian's friend Dave. Ian was absolutely battered, and kept wandering off, but it was cool- a rock club!!! In southampton!!! Brilliant!!! Ok, it wasn't the Kray, but it was pretty cool. I danced until two, which was a good excuse for not getting in work till lunchtime- but the real reason was I just didn't want to come in. I had a little parcel waiting for me - mum has sent me Percy, a good luck penguin. So parents can be pretty cool sometimes, too.